A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This question is for the guys out there. Why would you leave someone who treated you right for an ex who has slept with all of your friends and cheated on you? Is it possible that this cheater will change? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2012): He's in love with her. Love is blind
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (13 March 2012):
OP, I have to agree with you completely. This guy is being a fool to go back with his cheating ex. I have an ex that cheated on me and I gave her a second chance. Know what happened? She kept on cheating! When I found out the second time I filed for divorce. She will get no more chances from me, and any woman I'm with from here on out is on notice - lie or cheat and she's history.
However, OP, this guy is a lost cause. It's best if you just let him go back to his ex, and you move on with your life. If he values a cheater more than you that's all you need to know about him. His priorities are all screwed up!
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 March 2012):
 I’m not a guy and I’m not a cheater… but I’ll try to respond..
Let’s start with Is it possible that a cheater can change… Yes it’s possible especially if cheating was a one shot deal… if it’s an ongoing pattern of behavior I hold less hope for a cheater changing… as to if this specific cheater can change… only the cheater knows that answer…. So many variables change things…
Sadly as to why you would leave someone for an ex… he left the ex for you… so he has a pattern of leaving one relationship to go to another… maybe it’s the only way he can cope…
Don’t waste time figuring it out… take care of yourself instead.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (13 March 2012):
"Is it possible this cheater will change?" Even if he did -which is VERY unlikely btw- why would you want to take him back? He betrayed you in the worst possible way. A person who has such little regard for the wellbeing of someone he's in a relationship with is not worth your time. Respect yourself and don't contact him ever again.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 March 2012):
 Oh boy. I'm sorry this happened to you. Don't get bitter and harden up because this guy wasn't over his ex. I know it doesn't give you any consolation now, but know that he is a masochist, and that this has nothing to do whatsoever with her being any better than you are. I know that the first knee jerk reaction to this is to self-criticize or get upset at how you can be good, faithful, and loyal, yet he leaves you for a pond scum cheater.
Your ex is messed up in the head. He's inviting more pain, and he will so bitterly regret the choice he's just made when she treats him for the fool he is....again.
As far as his friends are concerned....my thoughts on them stand. They are crap friends, who rank the demands of their penises above the value of friendship.
Hopefully, you'll find a guy with a bit more brain matter and a bit less mommy issues and masochistic tendencies.
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (13 March 2012):
 I do believe people can change. That being said, I think once a person has cheated on you, it's unlikely (but not impossible) that continuing a relationship with them, or coming back together in the future will be something they'll have much success with.
I guess it's for him to find out! Personally, I wouldn't leave someone I was happy with for someone who cheated on me at all, let alone with my friends. I guess that says something about how he felt about you, which is too bad. I hope you have moved on and are appreciating the single life and looking forward to a new, and better! relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2012): anyone who cheats on you has no respect for you. someone who cheats on you with your friends just plain hates you and wants to destroy your life. Leave the relationship and dont talk to anyone you know that they slept with because they dont like you very much either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo they weren't my friends they are his friends he left me for his ex who has slept with all his friends and cheated on him
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 March 2012):
Honestly? Who are these friends who would betray you like this? If my husband ever tried to make a move on any of my friends, they would verbally obliterate him. It's a no-brainer for you to never ever leave a good guy for a cheater. Where is the question? On one hand -- good guy who treats you right. On the other hand -- a dirty cheater.
If you have no feelings for the guy who treats you right, then leave him and be alone. Don't mistreat this good guy for a nasty cheater.
But I'm more interested in these friends of yours. You may need to change your criteria of who friends are, because true friends wouldn't betray you like yours have. To a true friend, the worst and most unattractive man in the world is one who would try to cheat on your good friend with you.
Ditch all thoughts of this nasty pond scum cheater, and ditch the friends who would betray you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah she is telling him they are going to really try and make it work this time. I personally don't see a person who has never been faithful changing
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 March 2012):
Not a chance. I'd never bother with someone like that. I'm afraid that the guy who did this just doesn't get it. What a waste.
Best to move on from him as quickly as you can.
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