A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has a cold sore on his lip and it just made me wonder if we have oral sex long after it's gone (we've not had it yet and aren't planning it yet either) and we have no STI's, would it still be safe to have oral sex without forms of protection such as a dental dam?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 February 2012):
 I think you should go with your boyfriend to a doctor and actually have his cold sore inspected so you and him can both be sure what it is. There is no point sitting here guessing. An oral herpes wont necessarily transfer to genitals, causing genital herpes. But it IS possible. To make sure what you can and can not do, or what risks you are taking, go to the doctor and ask about it!
Next: Pictures you google online are RARELY anything like real life cases. Pictures online are often worst case scenarios or images made to shock you. But even if things don't look bad in real life doesn't mean they're not the same virus. For example I had genital warts. If you google genital warts you'll get extreme images and they are horrifying. Huge growths and genitals beyond recognition. The real life genital warts on the other hand were just tiny tiny warts(bumps) here and there, not even noticeable unless you actually studied them up close in a mirror. But they were still genital warts, the same virus that caused the horrifying images online.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (4 February 2012):
 One more thing - cold sores may sometimes have some connection with a serious yeast infection - sometimes called thrush in Great Britain. The only time in my life having many cold sores began after sex with a younger woman who thus exposed me. The sores were persistent for a few months after. While it may have been due to weakened immunity, you might check on that with your doctor.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (4 February 2012):
FYI - Well, if simple cold sores, which is all I've ever had, an affective treatment is "Nystation and Triamcinolone Acetonide Cream." Usually works in a couple of days or less. When I feel a little tinge at the corner of my mouth, maybe once or twice a year, I'll apply a tiny bit of the cream right away, and it's usually over the next day. In America, this is a prescription medicine, but one small tube has already lasted me at least three years, and less than half has been used.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not sure if he's had them before~ but I'm seeing him Sunday so I can ask him then and we can talk. I'm also assuming that it's a cold sore he has but I guess it could be anything. Is it still a cold sore if it doesn't blister? My sore doesn't really look like the pictures you get when you google cold sores~ and i can't exactly remember his that well.
Annoyingly I can't book an appointment till monday since the doctors i'm registered with here whilst at uni is on campus and isn't open on weekends . I can't help but worry :(
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A
female
reader, Orbiter +, writes (3 February 2012):
Has your boyfriend had cold sores before or is this his first one? Anyone who has ever had a cold sore has oral herpes but if this is the first time it's happened it could be something else. I'd still get it checked though.
I can't tell whether you have a cold sore or not but it does seem to have appeared just as you're really stressing about this.
Yeah you both might as well book an appointment to go to, for advice as well as testing. What I'm not sure about and what you need to find out is how likely it is for the oral herpes to spread to the genitals and become genital herpes through oral sex - which is possible as the viruses are very similar and can infect both areas. Or how much more contagious it is when a cold sore is visible.
Try not to worry though, oral herpes isn't dangerous and a lot of people already have it and don't suffer any symptoms. At worst that's what you both have but I would see a doctor and talk it through as obviously you both want to prevent yourselves from getting genital herpes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for your answers :) So would we both have to have STI tests? ~ he's a virgin and I've had 1 sexual boyfriend before but I knew his history. I'm still a little confused. I'm also not 100% he has a cold sore as such since it didn't really look much like ones that've googled and its already going down after a couple of days and it didn't seem to hurt him.
But today (I have kissed him whilst he had this slight mark- stupid i know) i noticed that i have a little weird light mark on the inner corner of my mouth (not red) and a few little flat light spot like things formed along my inner upper lip(these might've been there already but I never noticed them before)and my lips feel very dry so i don't know whether the mark is due to dry lips or if it is a cold sore (it doesn't really look like things from the pictures)
I'm sorry for asking so many questions :( Tomorrow I might try to book a doctors appointment to get this checked out as I'm getting really worried. x
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (3 February 2012):
As I understand it, a cold sore may be an indication of some herpes strains, but not necessarily the worst kinds, such as genital. There is plenty of information online, and there are mild forms that may do no worse than cause occasional cold sores. Indeed, as "Orbiter" stated, almost everyone has some form, but usually not the very serious ones. My advice is to check it out online, or better, he should be medically tested. Genital herpes can be an incurable and lifelong serious disease.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter +, writes (3 February 2012):
You can still get herpes from him via oral sex long after the cold sore is gone. You can get it from kissing him too (with or without the cold sore).
You probably already have the herpes virus that causes cold sores (it's a different virus that causes genital herpes), the vast majority of the population get it during childhood, it's just that 90% of people don't experience any symptoms with it.
I suggest if you're that worried, go and talk it over with a doctor, you can also get tested for the virus yourself. If you don't already have it, then you'll need to be more careful.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 February 2012):
 It's possible, though not very likely. Almost everyone is already a carrier of that virus anyways. You should check with a doctor to find out how to be safer.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (2 February 2012):
Isn't his cold sore a STD itself? Herpes? Herpes can be transmitted even if there are no visible cold sores. So no, oral wouldn't be safe, but neither is kissing. You get oral herpes through kissing someone who already has oral herpes, you can be infected with it even if they don't have any sores at the moment.
If he and you are both STD free and his lip sore ISN'T herpes, then it will be safe to have oral sex even if he has a sore on his lip.
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