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Will my ex come back to me ?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'll try and keep it short. I broke up with my ex girlfriend 7 weeks ago. we had a great realtionship together which lasted for 11 months, it was both our first long relationship with strong, passionate feelings involved. we cared for each other alot, we was even planning to getting a flat together.

I found out about 7 months int the relationship that she was texting some lad behind my back saying they like each other but she wanted nothing to happen between them because she loves me too much. She confessed herself about this lad and said that it was only because she grew close to him at college as a good friend. When I found this out, I started having trust issuses with her and i become some what insecure.

Things started to get better a month later and we grew stronger as a couple.I still had some trust issues here and there but I was ironing those out, but after a while i noticed she was taking more care of her appearance when going to work and instead of me picking her up from work she was getting lifts back home from her work mates.I became suspicious and paranoid as to why she improved her appearance for all of a sudden and started getting lifts back.In the end i pushed her away because she said she allways flet she had to explain herself to me and that i didn't trust her enough. I became stressed and lost my car and job eventually and this made me less attractive i guess.

We eventually broke up just 7 weeks ago on mutual terms because we was both arguing often and she felt like she kept having to explain herself because of the trust issue.

When we broke up on the day she was very upset and was finding it hard to let me go. She was crying on my shoulder and wouldn't stop kissing me, She told me ''we will allways be friends''. So I left and said my good byes thinking it's just a phase.

everything was fine untill about a week later then I started missing her and getting desperate, I was trying to get back with her. I begged her, cried to her, even said nasty things to her, I was an emotional wreck and desperate for her love.

I found out that just 1 week and a bit later after we broke up she was texting her ex boyfriend and meeting up with him. I asked if it was true and she said yes it was but nothing has happend. I asked how she could move on so fast and she told me she's allways liked him deep down! I went for revenger and told her her I cheated on her at the start of the relationship ( true ). I know it was very foolish and I regret it loads. I then told her new fella that she has got an STD and then he broke the relationship of with her, because I was giving him too much hassle.

I then said some nasty things about her on fb which hurt her family, I appolagised to her family and they forgive me. Since we broke up I kept calling her daily and texting her telling her how much I love her, I guess I pushed her away. 5 weeks had passed and she still dint want me back. so I left it for a couple of days and went out to enjoy myself one night.

I ended up bumping into her in a night club and said hello can we talk and she turned around and said '' don't you get were not together anymore, I don't like you, leave me alone!''. She got in my face and laughed and said some more nasty things, so I pushed her away and she fell over.

The next day I said sorry and she said she never wants to talk to me again. I found out tho she's having a hard time over the breakeup but never wants to get back with me so her friend tell me. So I sentt her a text saying '' I respect your wishes and I will leave you alone, I enjoyed every moment we had together, ill hold it dear take care xxx''

so now my plan is leave her alone and give her some space, do you think she will eventually want me back ? I miss her like mad and want her back

View related questions: broke up, ex girlfriend, her ex, insecure, kissing, move on, my ex, revenge, std, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011):

Listen man, I know its really hard. I'm currently trying to get back with my ex, we were together for 2 years (High School Sweethearts) and we've been apart for about 4 months. I swear I've tried everything in the book, hell even vengeance. :(

I got really low a few nights ago and left her a voicemail crying apologizing for every hateful thing I've done. Well today she picked me up from work, we had lunch and hung out for a few hours. It was nice, we've decided to be friends for good this time. We both said if something happens, then it happens. Man I love this woman to no end so I feel you. My advice is learn from your mistakes, move on for a few months, then try a friendship. Who knows, it might work out, but don't obsess. I found out that she had planned on it just being a break till I went "psycho ex" like you did. Obsessing is the worst possible reaction.

As for my situation, I have high hopes. (I know, a big nono but this is the woman I want to marry.)I'm just gonna float on, maybe you should too man. I've told this to many people and its helped them: "As long as you both are alive, theres always a chance." Hope my words at least left some hope.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011):

Quite honestly, no I don't think she'll want you back. The end of the relationship was very messy, with bad deeds and nasty words said. I really think you have to give up on this one. Do yourself a favour. Try and forget and move on. The longer you hope to rekindle a relationship that is dead, the longer you are going to take getting your life back to normal. It will be worth it in the long run - there is a reason you are no longer together - you are no right for each other.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011):

No wouldn't treat a woman like that ever again, i regret my actions so much and it's not like me to be like that. I guess i was just an emotional wreck and felt rejected and hurt because how she told me shes allways liked her ex deep down.

I did call her the other day and asked how life is and she seemed ok to talk to me at the time, happy vibe. I asked if we could be friends and she said yeah why not.

We kept texting tht day but the day after wards she sent me a random text saying '' I will never forgive you, i don't wanna talk to you or be your friend''. :S

I told her i was sorry and i can understand why shes upset and someday i hope we could be close again... since then we havn't text for over a week x

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (23 March 2011):

fi_the_tree agony auntHmmmmm, tough one, you said and did some pretty rotten things to her after the break up, it's a toss up as to whether or not she will come back to you.

For your own sanity, i suggest you prepare for her NOT coming back to you. Always prepare for the worst outcome, so if it does come down to it, it won't hurt as much.

If she doesn't come back to you, i hope you won't ever treat another woman like this after a break up again...

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