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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I am 42 I have had a very deep affair and caught. i so regret it and I am paying deeply. I am so sorry for hurting my husband and also going against the person I am. Will I ever recover?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): Good lesson for others: Thank you for sharing your pain. Very few couples can survive cheating, particularly if the cheating spouse was the woman (...and I assume, possibly, a mother). How sad. I assume that you had the affair, hubby found out, and the guy that was shagging you, when push came to shove (no pun intended), decided to walk away -- so much for devotion and love promises whispered into your ear while he was nailing you, eh?! - very sad, indeed. I don't think I would stay with you. Some sorries are too inadequate...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): The old relationship you had with your husband is over. Neither one of you is quite the same person you used to be now. The affair has changed both of you.
If you want to stay married then you have to start a new relationship with your husband now. He might want to do that or he might not, its up to him as well.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  + ♥, writes (12 June 2010):
 I too am confused as to what you mean by "recover". If you mean recovering from the guilt...then the answer is probably not. The trust and intimacy between you and your husband has been broken and it will need to be rebuilt. If you mean will your marriage recover? That has to be up to you and your husband. Alot of this is in your hands. If your husband is willing to forgive and move on and rebuild your marriage, then you can over come this. But I don't think the guilt ever goes totally away. You have to put it in the past, learn from your mistakes and move forward.Many couples survive infidelity and move on to have even stronger marriages than before. Its all about what you learned from the experience, and what you are willing to do to make your marriage better. Seek out a marriage counselor if at all possible. Good luck with everything.
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