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Will I ever get over this love? Its been 2 years since we broke things off

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 June 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2017)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My heart is still broken after almost 2 years. We did continue to see one another until 8 months ago, off and on. He is much younger, 14 years, and from another country. We were together for 11 years. I felt l knew him immediately and have always felt we had a deep soul connection. If l pray about him or dream of him he calls. And vice versa. He would still do anything for me if l needed it- he brought me strawberries yesterday for jam! But he has a new girlfriend as of 8 months ago (the reason we are no longer are intimate). My longing won't heal! A heart doesn't comply with a command. One more thing: when we first got together, just kissing him would make me so excited l would almost throw up! I couldn't breathe and l would have to stop. He tasted like bacon and eggs...but know it sounds nuts. But no one ever did that to me or tasted so delicious. I never lost excitement for him. What on earth do I do to stop the pain and sadness?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (23 June 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou need distance. Why are you both not letting go off each other? Off course you are not going to get over him if he is still visiting to bring you fruit! Honestly the only way to get over him is to stop ALL contact.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (16 June 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntSending hugs. Some relationships are more difficult to get over than others.

HE has moved on and YOU haven't. I think, if you are able (because I do not underestimate the pull of this man for you), you need to cut ALL contact with him. Having him popping in for random reasons (you are capable of getting your own strawberries, surely?) just opens up the wounds over and over. He has a new girlfriend. Does SHE know he comes round to see YOU? How would YOU feel if you were her and he was doing this with an ex?

You are not being fair to his girlfriend and, most importantly, you are not being fair on YOURSELF because how CAN you get over him when you keep having contact?

I think you would benefit from taking back control of this situation and telling him you do not want to see him again, for ANY reason, and MEAN it. Then block him. Do you have the strength to do that though or are you going to just torture yourself with what you can't have for years to come? You have so much life left to live but you are effectively putting it on hold for this man who has already moved on from your relationship. Surely you can see you are worth more?

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States + , writes (15 June 2017):

You didn't break up two years ago, you broke up 8 months ago. You were together 11 years. Someone once told me you need one month of separation for every year you were together to begin to heal. And when I say separation I mean separation. No getting together for lunch every few weeks because you want to "be friends." No sending messages no texting and no following on social media. Eventually you will find yourself moving on with life.

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