A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so i have just recently got my first girlfriend--at the age of 22. The reason is that im shy and i was scared i suppose, of what i dont know. Anyway im pleased that i have finally found someone. But i feel that i have missed out on so much. The 18--21 period where you are supposed to go wild, my fear held me back and i have wasted it. Im also kind of worried that in trying to make up for lost time i will cheat in future relationships. Am i worrying for nothing? Is it normal to think this way?
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 May 2013):
 I guess you will have to weigh up what you want more - is your girlfriend worth being faithful to? Is she better than any other girl you could meet? Or is the desire to play the field stronger than your desire to be in a relationship? Are you only with her because you wanted a girlfriend so badly you settled for the first girl that came along?
There is no 'window' for having fun. I think I had the most 'fun' with the opposite sex when I was 16-17, then after that aged 22-23. So by no means have you missed the boat, just because you are past the age of 21 doesnt mean you wont be able to have fun with girls. So if you genuinely do want to play the field a bit and have fun, and have some new-found confidence now you have a girlfriend then I'd suggest you end the relationship and follow your urges.
However if you know that this girl is amazing and you wont meet anyone better, then stay with her. Dont rush into anything serious, just date and have fun with her - but stay together. Playing the field can be fun, but you are more likely to regret letting a great girl go rather than not having slept with enough women.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (16 May 2013):
 Hi
If you think your going to cheat your with the wrong girl.
If you want to sample what you missed then don't get serious with a girl, your still very young and not exactly near your sell-by-date, so enjoy what you have and move on if it isn't working.
Do as you would be done by.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): Congratulations on the girlfriend. Yes, you may come to regret missing out on that time. But the good news is, I think it's not at all too late - you can still explore if you get your confidence up. And it's only cheating if you're in a committed relationship. So: use committed relationships to grow yourself and your confidence. Go to beginner-friendly social dances (not ballroom, they're too uptight) and learn to dance and to become more comfortable and confident dealing with women. Get out of committed relationships when they cool off or otherwise are no longer helping you grow. And for God's sake, don't get married out of inertia. You may just be a "late bloomer"; you shouldn't be denied the chance to explore just because you're a little older. You're so young. No rush to marriage or kids - those will be available to you for a long time. But your natural youthful sex appeal (and capability) will begin to decline in your later 30s. So use the advantages while you have them! Good luck!
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