A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Will he ever speak to me again?Was with a man for over a year - on and off for the last 6 months. A year and a bit. Recently found out I am pregnant in July. He didn't take the news well at first and freaked out via txt. I found that weird and so ignored. When he finally became happy about the baby. I then came clean and told him when we were broken up I had a one nighter during that month that went wrong, condom broke..but the guy disappeared after and I had taken a pill. Contact no. for one nighter doesn't work anymore.I don't think the baby is the one nighters based on the pregnancy tester results. Here are the dates and maybe someone can make sense of this for me. Baby is due on 4 April 2010. One nighter happened on 1 July, there was no sex on the week of the 12 July when I should have conceived. I had sex with the ex on 20 July. Did a pregnancy test on 2 August, it was a fancy tester that told me 2-3 wks ago I conceived. If I count back 2 wks I get the ex, if I count back 3 wks I didn't have sex during that week. If it was the one nighter's then surely the tester would have read 3+ on it. It was a Clearblue fancy digital one. Anyway the ex is not speaking to me ever since, so I txt these facts to him. I have a scan coming up and before he decided to 'move on' and totally ignore me, he was supposed to be going with me to it. Now he won't even reply to me and tell me if he wants to go or not and I don't find this fair. So going to go without him if needs be, but how long is this rubbish treatment from him going to go on, I am scared to totally resent him if he waltzes back into my life at the end of the pregnancy as he is making me struggle alone as it is. He is making out like the baby isn't is..but people given the facts I have just presented to you..surely its more likely to be him?? I said I was cool to a paternity test cos it was a bit of a mystery to me how I conceived at all! I got a white discharge after sex with the ex on 20 July so I wonder if that was my ovulation then..last period was 28 June.The ex has not spoken to me in a month now and thinks there is only a 5% chance it could be his, given the dates. He also did a sperm test before all this happened - they told him it was very unlikely he could have kids but still possible, had testicular cancer, overcame it but lost a testicle. So I guess that is why the baby news came as a bit of a sore point for him as he had mentally ruled out ever having kids...I told him not to have unprotected sex with me if he didn't want kids, but he was telling me how he REALLY wanted this and thats why we did, cos obviously I want a child too. I lost a child in a horrible way before..she died 27 days after birth so am a bit petrified of that happening again. Hopefully not. Am staying positive at least. But I find it unfair given he knows my previous circumstances that he has totally chopped me out of his life. I just want to know will he ever speak to me again? His last txt read, promise you, last txt ever...and he hasn't written ever since. My child's anniversary death date was on Sat and he didnt even send a condolences txt like last year so was even more down in the mouth that he also forgot that. I don't know what his problem is. His ex also previously faked a pregnancy with him, and faked a scan with him so I guess the scan thing is another sore point. He knows am not faking as I showed him the tester...and documents. Just to show him that no really its happening. BUT now what?? I want him back and even though I am v capable of doing this alone, have done before. I find it unfair.
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anniversary, conceive, condom, discharge, his ex, period, pregnancy test, sperm, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWent to scan today and baby is now 9 wks and 3 days! Meaning its back another wk on the counting front...any takers?? or opinions on this..
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks...how do you think it might be the one nighters? like I say what is weird is after sex on 20 July I had a white discharge so I wonder if that is when I really conceived.. as I have long cycles. Also cos he didn't get back to me about attending the scan - you think he has moved on?? still I don't understand why he didn't just let me know yes or no to that irrespective of me being with him or not. Most people have told me that he is trying to get his head around things, but he told me that before when he got back with me 3 wks prior. He has now avoided me for 3 wks solid. He always told me if a man cares anything about you he will contact you after the 3 wks are up..and have passed but he hasn't bothered and I am trying not to get upset by it all. How can I know for sure that he has moved on when he won't even tell me? But thanks for your reply ..I think you are right that if he finds out it is not his, he will want nothing to do with me..correct. But am not bothered by that..cos am doing ok on own. It just sucks to be honest.
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A
male
reader, Dalmatian  +, writes (7 September 2009):
There is a reasonable chance the baby is the one nightsex event. Do a DNA test at birth to find out. If thebaby is not your ex then he will never contact you again.If it is your ex then he has legal obligations to take careof the baby. Make him do at least that ! I believe it is over with you two as far as a real relationship. He has moved on.
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