A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:ex bf's new wife told me she didn't want us talking to each other, she called me. But my ex said it's not a problem and he will talk behind her back. Why would he go against what she wants??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2012): To reply to eyeswideopen - I don't think I could. I would feel guilty because his wife didn't ask for this! Yes I'm terribly attracted to him, still think I love him! But alot has changed in my life too.
To reply to Tisha 1 - I guess all I want is for him to say he's sorry, he made a mistake, something. I know in my heart he never will. Not that type!! I have been dating a few guys. None of which I feel anything for really. Just passing time.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 August 2012):
 The bottom line is that he married another woman. He chose someone else, which is a great pity but there it is. I see that you were together for a long period of time but he essentially dumped you, he did it pretty honorably, but you were not his chosen life partner.
I still think it's sleazy that he's going behind his wife's back. He may have a soft spot for you and your family but he made a choice, and it wasn't you and your family.
Is this preventing you from moving on and finding someone new?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 August 2012):
 So if he asks you, will you have an affair with him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012): I lived with him more then ten years and my kids lived with him as well. He took us all in. He's a good man, don't get me wrong, he did alot for me and my children, was like a step father to them. But of all a sudden something changed and it was like I was in his way. That's the feeling I had. So finally he said he wanted me to move out. Didn't push me out the door. He waited for me to find a place, helped me move, even checked up on us once in awhile. Then he started dating and married very quickly. It just blew my mind because he was the love of my life!!! At one point I was chasing after him before I knew he married. He said, at that time, he wanted nothing to do with me and his new gf didn't want me around.Now all of a sudden, I'd say in the past six months, we talk weekly. He doesn't talk about his marriage, he talks about his kids, job, etc. It just makes me wonder, as the one replier said, maybe he thought the grass is greener!!! and now he realizes it's not!! Just feel a little bad he wasted so much time. It's been about three years.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012): OP if he's willing to go behind her back then he's just after an easy piece of ass. Are you that easy piece of ass? Or are you going to stop playing his game and cut him off?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 August 2012):
Why are YOU still talking to HIM? I'd have cut contact for good. He made his choice. What's in the 'friendship' for YOU?
Dump him as a friend and stop having to worry about what some jerky guy's motivation might be. It's a pointless waste of your time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012): The way I see it, he's starting to think he made a huge mistake by dumping you, and maybe his new wife turned out not to be the person he thought she was. When he dumped you, I suspect he had the whole "grass is greener" outlook. Part of her charm was just she was someone new and different than you. And now that he's with her, he's starting to have regrets. I'm not saying she isn't a good person, but maybe he's starting to think you were a better match for him. How long were you together, anyway? If it was a long time, then I stick to what I said about him having the "grass is greener" outlook. He got bored, looked somewhere else, and made a hasty decision. Now he's regretting it. He already doesn't care what she thinks, otherwise he'd respect her saying she doesn't want him to contact you. He needs to understand she's not trying to be controlling, and that it's kind of an unspoken rule that you don't talk to exes when you're in a new relationship, and especially if you're married. That would raise concern in any normal person. I agree with the other posters, too, as far as not getting involved. Nothing good can come of it. He made his choice, now he should have to live with it. Bottom line, don't trust him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012): I feel for both you women because you are caught in the crossfire hairs of a serial cheater. He only thinks of himself and his lust and his needs.
Expecting him to be an honest, loving, supportive, caring, sensitive, understanding man is wasteful.
If he were any of those things- he wouldn't be going against honest and fair wishes of his New Wife.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): He dumped me that's what's so confusing. He dumped me, married her, and now he's talking to me again after he said he wanted nothing to do with me again!! ahhhh!!!! men are so confusing!!! thanks for all your input!! I appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): Sounds like you two have unfinished business which needs to be resolved or both need to move on. It is not fair to his wife!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 August 2012):
Because he's not all that concerned for her feelings on the topic of ex-girlfriends, it appears.
Isn't he your ex for a reason?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): Now he's letting me know his work schedule when we talk on the phone. He hasn't suggested we talk in person and either have I.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 August 2012):
 Not sure why you are asking us, why not ask him? After all he is calling you.
And I agree with Eyeswideopen, he is looking for trouble.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 August 2012):
He's looking for trouble. Don't be a part of it. Just be glad he's an ex, I feel very sorry for the new wife.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (3 August 2012):
Who knows, but don’t get involved with it. Tell him you won’t be doing anything behind anyone’s back and that you don’t want to get involved with the politics of his new marriage. As for why he’s doing it, is their marriage in trouble? Is he the kind of person who would cheat, or at least not feel bad about lying to a partner? Whatever the reason, the important thing to remember is that if his wife is unhappy about this, you’re condoning his dishonesty if you continue talking with him. Shouldn’t you just wish him well and go your separate ways?
I wish you all the very best.
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