A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why would he say things like this? is he lying?I rang my ex boyfriend to ask a few questions about our relationship cos I feel like I every time I love a guy he leaves me heart broken.My ex lied, cheated and broke up with me. Anyways so I asked him what I did wrong in the relationship he said I did everything a good girl does, I loved him and was the best thing that ever happened to him and is finally hit him how much he messed up. He said he misses me so much, the way I loved him and that I was so sweet and cute and was just amazing. He said I was a bit clingy but he liked that he thought he was cute. He kept asking me if I ever think about him and if I miss him I didn't answer.When I got all the information I needed I said bye and he begged me to stay on the phone with him for while cos he misses my voice and when he looks at his phone and don't see any calls and messages he missed that cos we were always calling and texting each other. I told him to move on, he said he's talking to people but he's not interested in them cos they are not me and he doesn't feel comfortable with them.He says the other girl was a big mistake it was just sex with her and he's sorry for what he did and will keep saying sorry till he dies..We finished the phone call with him saying 'am sorry sweetheart, I love you'. and I hung up.He said our relationship ended cos he just couldn't commit. Why would he say things like that? is his birthday tommorow should I text him or ring him?Thanks..x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 Well hon, you got your answer. He couldn't commit, he obviously isn't mature enough to handle a relationship. He may really miss you but why put yourself back into that? He cheated on you and lied to you. Move on. It is NOT your fault this relationship didn't work out. Even your ex admitted that. Don't linger on it. Heartbreak unfortunatly is part of life and some of us suffer and suffer until finally, we learn and find a good mate. All you can do is learn from this and remind yourself that you did not deserve to be lied to and cheated on. You can text him "happy birthday" but don't get into the habit of calling him and meeting up because eventually, you'll want him back and you'll go into a relationship where you'll find it hard to trust him and it will only fall apart. I'm not saying don't be friends, just set limits. And if you do want him back, sit back and watch first. In order words, be his friend and see how he acts, how he interacts with people and if you feel sure he has changed and matured and you can better trust him-go for it. Right now, live your life. Take some time and focus on you. The perfect recipe to get over someone: keep busy.
A
male
reader, Chippymunk  +, writes (15 April 2011):
 I would stay away from him if I were you. I had an ex who cheated on me and begged me to forgive her. I did and after a couple months of getting used to me again, she cheated on me a second time. Don't let yourself fall into the battered womens sydrom cycle. I learned this in psychology and it goes like this: 1.) Guy abuses girlfriend (emotionally or physically) 2.) girlfriend leaves him 3.) guy begs girlfriend back saying how he was wrong etc. etc. etc. 4.) girlfriend gives in and goes back to boyfriend 5.) Things are good for a little while... until guy gets used to girlfriend again, then go back to step 1. All you have to do is ask yourself this question: If he truly truly loved you, would he have threatened your relationship by cheating? I know if I truly loved someone, I would never ever do anything to lose them. My guess is that he's begging you back to use you as a "filler" girlfriend until he finds another. I know way too many guys like him, using the same lying tactics as well. Please stay away, for your own good. Find someone who truly appreciates your love.
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