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Why won't he just come back to me?

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2008)
A female Canada age 30-35, *rit008 writes:

I was with my ex for almost 5 yrs and we were engaged to be married and have a daughter together. He left me over a year ago and started dating someone else within a couple months. For almost that whole relationship we've been sleeping together and sneaking around to see eachother. I recently started dating someone a few months ago and I thought I'd be able to walk away from my ex but I can't, so I've continued messin around with him, we've even made plans to go out of town for a night so we don't have to worry about getting caught. He always tell me how sexy he thinks I am and that he misses me but we didn't work then we won't work now. His current girlfriend stalks him and drives him nuts but he's still with her. I love my BF and my ex loves his GF but we can't stay away from eachother we talk and text every day. What do I do? Why won't he just come back to me?

View related questions: engaged, my ex, text

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2008):

hlskitten agony auntBecause he doesn't have to! Why would you want him anyway, he is cheating on his girlfriend. Ever wondered if he has always been cheating on you the whole 5 yrs? Just curious.

If you hadn't been giving him sex the last yr, he might well of come back at some point. But for now, he doesn't have to. Its more exciting these days!

C xxxxx

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2008):


It's no wonder his girlfriend is stalking him, since every time her back is turned, he's having SEX with someone else.

He's never going to leave her, he's going to keep stringing you along and using you for sex until you wise up.

Break up with your boyfriend. You obviously do NOT love him since you can arrange to have sex so easily behind his back.

Go away and be single and get a new life. This s going to keep going on for as long as you let it. Are you really that pathetic?

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, epifanatical Australia +, writes (30 September 2008):

epifanatical agony auntsounds as if he enjoys having girls at his mercy. on the surface it seems he is genuinely in love with you, but is prolly thinking about what broke you guys up in the first place and if he comes back it will go that way again. Perhaps this is his way of ensuring it doesnt happen?

Its good to hear that you have started to date again too instead of just being around for him all the time. That should help take your mind off things after a while. You say that you sneak around with your ex. Im not quite sure why you need to do this for? I mean you guys were together for 5 years and have a child together too, so why the sneaking for? Is this both of you or only him ?

If you want to see him back you have to put more effort into your own life. Make him see that you can be happy without him. Get out there and enjoy life, do things that make you happy and that you love. This will eventually rub off on him and he will see you in a different light. If you seem like you are getting along without him, it will cause a knee jerk reaction and he will want to join you. Its up to you to allow him back thou. This time apart should be doing you good by way of creating space for you to think. You should take that opportunity and keep contact with him to a minimum, to allow you to do this.

I hope it works out either way for you cheers !! :)

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