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Why should I date someone who'll still be in prison until 2016?

Tagged as: Crushes, Long distance, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2015)
A female New Zealand age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi all. I've been single for the past 2 years because i have lost my boyfriend from suicide.

Currently i'm studying on a distance learning program.

As we mostly discuss our studies online and leaving our contact details for study group.

So there was this guy who got my contact there.

He whatsuped me as we were discussing a module. He will comment about my photo then we ended up chatting about our personal staff.

He has just told me that he has fallen for me and to be honest i have too.

My biggest problem is that he is in prison, and he will be out next year 2016.

I do have feelings for him and honestly i have asked about everything, but somewhere i have this mind that says, ''why should i date someone who will be coming from prison''?

What if he was arrested for murder or something bad or he might maybe be a bad person because he comes from prison, which he's not a good person to have, as he will be a convicted person..

View related questions: in jail

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2015):

I used to work in the prisons & while yes - there are some decent, hardworking guys (though few & far between) who want to improve their lives - a lot of them have alterior motives upon their release - usually concerning making money or sexual desires.

As Honeypie says - I would firstly find out exactly what he is in for & what security risk he poses when he gets out. If you are comfortable with this then go ahead - if not - don't.

Also beware of repeat offenders. I knew a guy from jail and he was in and out half a dozen times - so people like this are not worth starting a relationship with, as you'll never see them!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 July 2015):

Honeypie agony auntBefore you get yourself any more emotionally attached or involved- why not ASK him what he is in for. OR if you can check him out online ( I know in the US you can do a background check for $10 and I have to say it would be worth it).

I think it's VERY easy to get caught up in a "sort of" fantasy romance (because until you spend time together it is more fantasy then reality), so I do think you need to be careful.

And I think you REALLY should listen to that little voice telling you, THIS is NOT what you need.

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A female reader, Euphoria30 Germany +, writes (29 July 2015):

Dear OP,

I would wish for you to make a good experience of a relationship, because the last one ended horribly.

Can you emotionally afford the risk to date a man that is in prison, not just jail? That has for sure a history of crime and violence?

OP, no. No no no. I am a romantic person but please, be your own best friend here, put down the pink glasses! Don't commit to a man that might be so much trouble.

You've had your share of trauma, why risk your sanity by adding even more trouble? Also, you never met him in person so far, just online. A lot of space for fantasy and projections, from his and your part.

To say he's "fallen" for you.. how can he know that if he's never spent a whole evening, day, weekend with you?

There are sane, decent, law-abiding single men out there. You don't have to settle for so much less.

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