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Why isn't this working?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 May 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I posted my situation on here a few months ago. I had broken up with my boyfriend of a little over a month. I accused him of still liking his ex. Unfortunately he was very upset that I thought that and he said he needed space. Well, I gave him space personally. Professionally, I was in the middle of working with him directly on his company's website. During the course of the last 3 months I have been to his house after 5 or him at mine at least 3 nights a week and even on weekends finishing up his site. He even asked me to put in a bid on his brochure. I did and he gave the work to me. He calls me dear, hunny, sweetie and we had sex once after the initial breakup. (it was terrible because he couldn't please me and I know it upset him) anyway... we joke, laugh and have a great time together. We always have an arm or leg or hand touching while we work since we are usually sitting on a couch. We make eye contact but never talk about us. I took advice from my last post to be friendly fun and not bring up the dating thing. Everything except for the fact that he doesn't ask me out or try to have sex again feels like a relationship. His birthday is this weekend which I acknowledged through a nice card and small silly gifts that I sent through the mail. He was really happy with that. Well on Friday I went out with my girls and he and I were texting back and forth. He let me know his car broke down and that he was bored waiting for help. Bascically we were flirting back and forth and then

I wrote:

Me: Soooo I gotta question.

Him: what

Me: do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement?

Him: what

Me: Because I wanna wrestle and I know I can take you.

Him: lol no you can't

Me: I bet I can and you will like it :)

Him: no response.

Well the next day I didn't hear from him until about 2pm when he asked if I had received photos for the brochure. I told him I would look and get back to him. In the meantime my grandmother had a stroke and I messaged him:

Me: My grandma had a stroke and its not good. im not going to be able to finish working today.

Him: Okay if you need anything let me know.

Me: I didn't respond.

Today I sent him a

Me: Happy Birthday Enjoy

Him: Thanks Dear! How's grandma?

Me: we find out if she needs surgery today

him: keep me posted.

I just feel like he has really backed away. I don't think he is seeing anyone else but I don't understand why when we seem so compatible physically and mentally that things are not working. Both of us are definitely shy when it comes to relationships.. but this is ridiculous. I can't tell if he is stringing me along just to keep me around or if he likes me and is scared or if he just isn't into me or if he is using me for work. He pays me for all the work I do.. so I can't imagine that is the reason. Any advice on this would be great. I don't know what to do next. I feel like I had a chance and that now I don't. He doesn't seem too concerned about me at the moment. Sad week all the way around! Booo

View related questions: flirt, grandmother, his ex, shy, text

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (24 May 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntOk doll stop the txting and ask him face-to-face "where are we going dude? What am I to you? What do you see in our future?" You have to know one way or the other and this is the only way to find out. Good luck hope it works out the way you want it to.

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