A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Most of the time I get on really great with my husband who's a great bloke - kind, funny, supportive etc.Just lately though he's started forgetting to flush the loo after he's taken a cr*p. This really bothers me and it's sometimes 2 or 3 times a week. He says it isn't him, but it happens when he's the only person in the house who could have done it.The nasty surprise when I go to use the loo is one thing but the thing that really bugs me is he denies it and doesn't seem really interested in how much it upsets me. I would die of embarrassment if a friend or relative was faced with this experience in our house. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (25 September 2010):
Does he forget other things as well?
As he has just started doing this perhaps you need to consider that, as other aunts have said here, it could be some kind of memory issue developing? He probably would deny forgetting to flush, because it's embarrassing, but there could be more to it than that. As someone has suggested, a sign is good idea too.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): Besides the possibility that he has a health issue, be on the look out for signs of depression or unusual fears (or other refusals to do routine things). If you see a pattern he could have a mild form of OCD, however, OCD unchecked usually grows into a more serious condition, so please keep an eye on him.
This could be Passive Aggressive behavior, in which case you need to get some counciling.
I regardless, once you've expressed your feelings and needs, his refusal to honor them is a very large problem in your relationship. Seek some good third party help is addressing this.
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (25 September 2010):
 Since this is something new for him, I really would be worried. He doesnt seem to recall? Are there other things that he is doing that seem "off" or different than his "normal" self? You need to watch and see if he is forgetting other things.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 September 2010):
 If he's not always been doing that, and he's the same age you are and isn't remembering that it's him, I'd be concerned about his health. Memory loss could be a symptom of many different things.
I'd stay really alert and watch him like a hawk for when he goes into the bathroom, and then check on it immediately after he leaves (ew, I know). I don't think he's doing it on purpose, but rather I'd be concerned for him.
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A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (25 September 2010):
 He might not be well? forgetting stuff? look out and see if it;s his health,, andave a gentle word with him xx
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 September 2010):
 Good Grief! I hate it when I go to a public restroom and the previous 'guest" has not flushe. i can only image how gross it must be to know who the culprit is. he's got a real anal retentive problem you should recomend he see a mental doctor. When there was a serious water shortage in california in the 70's the saying was if it's yellow let it mellow but when it's brown flush it down. how you live with the man is beyond me. Cut him off until he learns common decency.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (25 September 2010):
 However, I do particularly like this one!
http://www.gifts4blokes.com.au/images/toiletrules_lg.jpg
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (25 September 2010):
This is pretty disgusting behaviour to be honest.
Do you have multiple bathrooms in your house? Maybe use the other one, and leave the smelly one for him. If this happens again, (and only if you know you are not expecting guests. Leave it. Just ignore it. See what his reaction is.
Leave it until he cleans it.
Maybe go out and leave him with the smelly toilet.
If this doesnt work, leave the box of toilet cleaner, brush and plastic gloves on the toilet seat. See if that gets the message across.
Either that or make a big sign that says "PLEASE FLUSH AFTER USE" and place it in a prominant position on the toilet.
http://www.justbathroomsigns.com/Restroom/Flush-After-Using-Bathroom-Signs.aspx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 September 2010):
How old is he? Could this be a sign of old age?
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