A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:I am starting uni september next year and my brother who's away at uni says i should stay at home and attend uni.. that i would be able to buy a car and drive there because he stays on campus at uni and university life is very expensive.but my dad insists I go live on campus otherwise i wont pass the course. its like he wants to ger rid of me. My mum wants me to stay at home and get a car and drive there but my dad insists and now hes making her say the same thing and shes agreeing with him now.i don't really wanna live on campus i dont know why my dad wants me to go away so bad. Its up to me at the end of the day. Why is my dad doing this??Should I live at home or campus??
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): I agree with the other posters. I am sure your Dad cares about you very much and that your parents love you hugely. Their reaction is not about kicking you out of the house, but about ensuring that you can become a bright, confident and independent young woman. Leaving home is a vital step towards that. And so is learning to manage on limited amounts of money. You never know what is around the corner in life, and I guarantee there will be times when you will be grateful to know that you have the strength and independence to be able to get by on a very small amount of cash if you need to.
I know a young girl - very bright, but quite shy and very insecure- who stayed at home at college because she didn't think she could manage on her own. It was a catastrophically bad decision. Instead of conquering her anxieties in the world, she cocooned herself in a safe environment. But instead of taking her fears away, this made them grow. She is now unable to move out, because she worries that she won't be able to cope. She can't have a proper relationship. She can't get a graduate job because she doubts herself too much and fears rejection too greatly.
My point is that it does you good to get out there and experience life for yourself: it will give you a set of skills, and a confidence about your ability to cope, that are every bit as valuable as that degree certificate. Plus, it's so much more fun living out - you simply won't be part of the social life of the uni if you're always having to drive back, and you won't experience the same period of learning and experimentation as a result. And your parents will always be there for you in the event that you really need them. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): Ofc he doesnt want to get rid of you,
he surely want's best for you with living at campus u become more of an independent man who can count on him self
and learn how life should be
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 March 2010):
No harm in getting a bit of independence. I think he's just making sure that you can fend for yourself. It's all right having all the qualifications in the world, but you need to be able to live for yourself too. I never went to uni (not my thing), but my friends have and they say it's great. I'm sure you'll have a great time.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (18 March 2010):
 You Dad wants you to not only enjoy the whole "being on your own", but most likely he trusts you to be mature enough to be on your own.
It's not like he is kicking you out and locking the door.
Having lived "out" I had my own apartment when I attended college I have to say I can not imagine having lived at home. Those were some GOOD times :)
Papa bird is saying it's time to test your wings, young'un!
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A
female
reader, Emmy757 +, writes (18 March 2010):
I think your dad wants you to have some control over your life and destiny, by moving out of home it will teach you to stand on your own and be independant, which isn't a bad thing. On the otherhand if you don't want to move out from home and your parents are happy for you to be there then you should do what u are comfortable with. At the end of the day it is your future and your life and you should be able to do what u want to do.
Are u scared of missing home? If you are that will pass over a couple of months and you will make a whole load more friends etc....
at the end of the day you should only do what you are comfortable with. Ultimately it is your decision and only you can make it hun.
Allie
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (18 March 2010):
 i live at home and I wish i lived on campus. You'll have a good time, go do that.
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