A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I had a bad fall out with my ex a few months back over another girl he was seeing on the sly. I was ready to forgive him as we were only casually seeing each other - but he had already blocked me by then. The thing is - 6 months down the line - I'm still blocked and he's never tried to resolve the situation - yet he's still in touch with her ( although I know through friends they have had 1 or 2 fallouts along the way too).The thing is - even though it's been a while since we spoke - I still hope we can resolve things - but with this other woman around I feel we never will as she has obviously stirred things between us.So my question is - why is he so against unblocking me and why is he still with this other woman even though they have had one or two fall outs along the way too? What does she have that I don't?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2015): Wow WiseOwlIE - I am the original poster & your words ring very true!
Yes - a lot of it IS down to my ego getting hurt more than me missing my ex - but it still hurts..!
It hurts that even though he is obviously falling out with this new woman - he still goes back to her - but not to me..
But thanks for your wise words x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2015): His feelings have shifted to someone else. That frequently happens among people in your age-group. Your relationship ran it's course; you're the one still clinging to it.
You want him all the more; because of her. You had big fall-outs with this guy; because you can't trust him, and he's not all you're making him out to be. Your ego is crushed and you hate that he has rejected you. Now it has become a competition. If only all the aunts and uncles could see what this guy looked like; so maybe we could determine what it is that you see. You are blowing his price-tag all out of proportion. Throw his loser-ass on the discount shelf. You're done! He's last year's model. Time to upgrade kiddo!
In reality, all she has that you don't have is him. You got your own unique beauty, your own one-of-a-kind personality, and nobody does you better than you. Only you're caught-up in a triangle over some dude who chose another female over you. If you step back and think about, he's really not all that. It just pisses you off that he dumped you for her. I feel you!
He's your sloppy-seconds. You tried to make it work with him, but he wasn't up to the task; and once you calm down, you'll come to the conclusion that he's really not worth all the trouble. It's a matter of time before she realizes he isn't worth her trouble either. He's tainted now that he's been with her; so it's best you push the handle and let him circle down the drain. He's icky and oozing with her all over him. You don't want that back!
Losing him to her doesn't make you any less of a woman. She took trouble off your hands. You kept holding on in-spite of the fact you were incompatible; now your feminine-pride is bugging you about the fact he found somebody else. All the hot guys out there you're missing out on, and you're wasting time and energy worried about being blocked from a cheating-loser. Girlfriend, get a grip will you please!!!
Here's how it will turn out. You'll finally realize you're better off. You'll get your grove back, other cute guys will take notice of what's special about you; and you'll be smart enough to pick someone better than he was. He'll become a bad-memory, and you'll be the one who found someone else.
Fast-forward into the future!!! You're single, over him, and dating a new guy. He won't want you back until someone better has you. You'll be glad he blocked you; because if he hadn't, you'd still be wasting your time falling-out and fighting with him. Sweetie, he's not worth it. He's a raindrop in a ocean of men. Take some time-off from guys to get your emotions back under control. Get a new hairdo, a nice make-over, do some shopping. Make yourself a new woman. Go forward, don't look back!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (20 May 2015):
 What does she have that you don't? Well for one thing she has your ex's attention. Other than that I wouldn't know. However I do know that he certainly has moved on and that's exactly what you should do. Don't waste time beating a dead horse.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 May 2015):
 What does she have that you don't? Who knows? Why compare yourself to her? What good does THAT do?
He was seeing two girls CASUALLY, you and her. When you found out you had a fall out with him, so he STUCK with the other girl. HE made that choice. YOU think it's her telling him what to do... I doubt that. SHE is still putting out, so he is sticking around. My guess is, if he is seeing YET another girl on the sly, THAT girl is not making a fuss about sharing (yuck)
What is it about him that is so great that you are willing to share him? To have HER sloppy seconds?
He wasn't your BF if he was casually seeing YOU and HER. He was just sleeping with as many girls as possible.
I think you need to accept that he was NEVER really into you. THAT is why it was ONLY a casual thing, NOT a relationship, not a GF/BF thing. He might treat ALL the girls (who ALLOW things to stay casual) the same way. Doesn't mean that other girl is better or has something you don't.
Obviously BOTH you and HER have a bad taste in guys.
LET him go. Don't settle for casual if you WANT a relationship. Don't settle for casual if you want an EXCLUSIVE BF.
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