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Why is he not physically intimate with me?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 February 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *vam1234 writes:

I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years. We still did not have sex yet. But we have fooled around a lot.. My problem is that we are doing well in our relationship. But.... when we met on Sunday we made out a lot and were physically intimate... But ever since Sunday we met twice but he was not physical with me. He was the same other wise but we did not kiss or anything... I tried to be affectionate by hugging him 2-3 times but he did not return the favour.. I felt as if I am only trying to get physical with him but he is not

Why is he not physically intimate with me.. What happened in 3-4 days... I do not know.... He is same other wise ... We laughed and joked and talked but we were not physical.. Why????

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A female reader, Kassi (Nova) Canada +, writes (13 February 2010):

Kassi (Nova) agony auntIt may simply be that he wants your first time to be special. Even if you feel you are ready, there is a time and a place for everything. It's a big thing for a guy to take your virginity. You're going to remember the who, the when, the what and the how quite vividly for the rest of your life. That's a lot to live up to.

Give him time, and be honest about how you feel. If he says he really does want you, and you really are ready (and being smart is also a part of being ready - the pill and condoms, hon), maybe he needs some encouragement, too. Maybe his first time wasn't the 'magic' he wanted to remember. Get involved, participate. Help him find a time that's right.

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A female reader, evam1234 United States +, writes (12 February 2010):

evam1234 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your answers. No, it is not his first time .. Infact I am a virgin and he is not... We have fooled around and made out quite a number of times before... He is a very physical person and he usually cannot take his hands off me when I am around...

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A female reader, Tigerlily United States +, writes (12 February 2010):

Just relax. He may have something on his mind or something he is feeling self-conscious about. A few days over course of 2 years is nothing to worry about. Back off and let him work through it and come to you when he's ready.

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (12 February 2010):

bharat mehta agony auntCheck his relationship with other girl friend. You age demand intense physical intimacy. Or check his emotional level, whether he is in tension?

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A female reader, Kassi (Nova) Canada +, writes (12 February 2010):

Kassi (Nova) agony auntI always thought it was strange that girls seem to think that if you do it once, it's a permanent invitation.

Was it his first time? Maybe he's worried he didn't 'rock your world' and needs some encouragement. Maybe he just wasn't in the mood. Maybe he IS a big jerk.

Guys are pretty straightforward. If you really want to know, ask him flat out. But be prepared- you might not hear what you're hoping for.

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