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Why is he ignoring me? Why didn't he want to come to England to be with me?

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 July 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 17 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i ned some advice as i am going crazy with thinking. i went to turkey for 2 weeks, went with people that really i should not have done and was unhappy after 2 days of getting there. i aked the hotel manager was their any spare rooms but hotel was over booked as it was. then he said i could share his room and that i would be ok as he gets up early in the morning. we ended up talking all night and basically geting it on, but not the full way if you know what i mean!

he left for work in the morning, he kept coming to the room to see if i was ok. he was so nice to me. the other staff told my friends that he has never had a european girlfriend before and he had told me that himself. i stayed with him for a full week in that room and things were ok, he took me on a boat trip on his day off and we spent the day together, it was brill.

then after 1 week we had to move out of his room as they needed the room for guests. i phoned him and told him that his staff had said i had to go to my own room as they neede it. he asked me where i was and i told him i was back in the room with my friends, he said he would come and see me in 15 mins. he never came so i rang him back after 1 and half hour to see where he was. he rejected my call. i didnt ring again i was really upset. he had been fine with me when we was staying together.

then he text me out of the blue the next day and said did i want to go on a pub crawl with him, if so then meet up with him that night at 9. i couldnt text him of my phone so one of his waiters text him and said i would be there at 9. i went to meet him at 9, he wasnt there so after 10 mins his reception staff rang him and told him i was waiting. he told me that the pub crawl was cancelled and then held my hand and led me to the bus to the pubs and we went on the pub crawl, so i didnt understand that! we had a brill night.

he did seem to get a bit jealous when a guy staying at the same hotel started to talk to me and also during the week i stayed in his room he seemed to like to know where i was. and also one day he even knew how much i has spent in a shop in the town! i dont want to sound big headed but a lot of people do consider me to be extremeley good loking and i do get alot of attention from men, he seemed to like showing me of but got jealous if some other guy spoke to me.

anyway the night after the pub crawl i was in the internet room and he came in and sat down next to me for 2 mins then went outsisde having a cigarette, as basically i carried on with what i was doing on the internet and one of his waiters was also on his laptop so i dont think he wanted to talk to me in front of him. then he came in again but left again when some more waiters came in to use the internet. i stayed on the internet. he thn popped in to tell me he was going to bed.

the next night we went to the hotel club me and my friends, i was dancing away and enjoying myself. i noticed him sat in a corner watching me and then he would go off and come back every now and then. after the club i wanted to talk to him, about what was going to happen between us as i was leaving in 2 days, where he works in the hotel he gets his accomodation and food included so obviously he knows i cant stay there with him, and i told him that. he said he knew that and that it was a problem. he said when the holiday season was over he would come to england for a holiday and was on about going seeing some friends he has in london.

i asked him would he want to live in england with me as obviously i cant stay at the hotel with him. he said his job is ok at the hotel and if he came to england what job could he do here. i could feel myself getting anoyed as he was saying i could come and see him sometimes and he come to england sometimes. i was in a bad relationship for 20 years and i would find it very hard to be away from a person i had a relationship with. i then just said here is my email address and phone number and if you come to england then contact me. he wanted to give me his also but i wouldnt take it and said to him it will make me to upset all the time. i just wouldnt be able to cope with that kind of relationship, i know that i would want someone there for me. we both then went to bed, different rooms. then for t

he lst 2 days he totally blanked me out, wouldnt even look at me, although i can say that he was watching me alot from one of the hotel upstairs rooms for a long time. even when me and my friends were leaving on the coach to the airport he didnt look at me and he even waved the coach off but didnt seem to be looking at me so i looked the other way. i was so upset. i have been back home 3 days and heard nothing from him. he must know i liked him so much. i would have stayed there with him if he had his own place and he knows that. my heads in pieces.

why has he ignored me like this? some of my mates said he may be annoyed that i had to come home, but that was obviously going to happen. i thought if someone truly liked you then they would have done everything they could to sort something out. i dont know what to do at all.

View related questions: jealous, text, the internet

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2009):

Denizen agony auntCome on Shirley Valentine, you are old enough to have heard of holiday romances. The guys at holiday resorts 'pull' every other week.

What defies belief, apart from the fact that you couldn't read the 'Goodbye Look', is that you expected him to give up his job, his friends and his family; go through immigration to an EU country, and settle down there if he was even allowed, on the strength that he was kind enough to comfort you when you were down and that you two almost got it on.

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