A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok about 2 months ago I meet this really sweet guy. We started seeing each other, and he would text me everyday and we were hanging out nearly every second day. This went on for about 2 weeks. Then he started only texting me every second day, and I hadn't seen him for a month. I could tell he was loosing interest and so it came as no surprise when he text me and said he couldn't see me anymore. When I asked why he said he had too much to deal with at worl etc. I was gutted because he was so sweet and I had started to love him.About a week after he dumped me he text me when he was drunk and asked to meet up for sex. I was shocked, because he had never talked about sex before (although we had had sex about 3 times) and it didn;t seem like him. I told him no and that I thought he knew me better than that. He continued to ask me questions like: "would I give him a blow job" and "would i try anal". The next morning when he was sober, he text again and said he wanted to get back together and try again. I agreed. He text me every day that week and he made plans for us to do domething on the weekend (like the movies etc) but at the last minute he had to work (it sounds like an excuse, but i know for sure he did work). So i sisn't see him that weekend. The next week, he text me everyday, but now he is asking me sexually orientated questions everyday, he never used to behave like that before and would not talk about sex like that before. Now he talks about it everyday and wants me to try heaps of new sex stuff next time we see each other. I am 100% sure he did honestly have feelings for me before we broke up the first time, but now that he talks about sex alot, i'm no so sure...Is he now only interested in sex???Although he does still contact me evryday, but is that just to keep me sweet??? Please help me figure out if he just wants me for sex, or did he realsise breaking up was a mistake, but just feels more comfortable second time around to talk openly about sex???By the way he is only 17 (im 18) and hes not had a girlfriend before??
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (11 June 2009):
 You have to look at everything from his standpoint first. You guys were only dating for two months before and the two of you were sexually active. The only thing he can really learn and know about you within a two month time frame is sex with you. Not if he likes your personality, not if he is enthralled by your passions, but you and sex. Not a very deep commitment, is it? Time tells all. He broke up with you. That says everything. If he was 'too busy with work' then, he still is now. You say he's never had a girlfriend before? He has never had that awesome experience of having free and easy access to sex, and once he broke up with you, he knew what he was missing. Easy hook-up!
Of course he wanted to get back together with you. And if he did miss hanging out with you for that weekend for work, if he really cared about you, he would have made time for you immediately after. He contacts you every day because you're an investment to him. All guys do this, but I think that this guy is investing for sex. If you are into having a relationship based purely off of physical gratification, then stay with him. But he'll probably leave you for a random reason or the next best thing. Yes, this relationship is based off of sex. Save yourself the potential heartache and leave him. :) Before he does so again to you.
A
female
reader, Emilymarie77 +, writes (11 June 2009):
Well, I wld think that yes - he is only interested in sex. When you said no to being 'with' him while you were broke up, he then wanted to date you again - right? That is your answer! Also, for only dating him for appr 2 mths - if that and you have already been sexually active 3 times, is a bit much too quickly. It's good to wait a few mths before you even go down that road - try out thr relationship first, get to know one another, become intimate w/ out the sex.
If a guy does not wait for you until the time that seems appropriate to have sex - he isnt worth having in the first plc. Also, I would honestly talk to him or dump him - he seems to be using you.
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