A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm dating this guy A (27) but only because I was pressured into it. See, I live with him (We have seperate rooms). We've been together for about 3 weeks. He says he loves me, and keeps talking about our future together. I feel very uncomfortable when he touches me or even if we fool around. He wants sex, I don't. I had a FWB relationship about 2 years ago which I ended because the guy, B, wanted a relationship. I was happy just fooling around and sleeping with him once in awhile. Recently I got in contact with B again, about a week ago. I find that I am only uncomfortable when A touches me. A also struggles to stop when I ask him to,and also struggles accepting when I say no. How do I tell A that I am uncomfortable or, if needs be, how do I break up with him? And what do I do about Bs sudden appearance in my life? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): The only way to explain it is to say it in clear terms like you have on here, that you ONLY want him as a friend and you DON'T want him to touch you. Nobody can force anyone into a relationship, you didn't have to give in. We've all been there with guys who are pesistent but you need to learn to stand up for yourself and not give in.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo clear up a few things: A pressured me into the relationship, no matter how many times I said no. Also, the situation with B... I never feel compelled to cheat when I am in a relationship, but when Bs around, its this sudden urge of lust. Yes, I admit I do fear commitment, for reasons I do not wish to discuss. Another question though, how can I tell A that I am uncomfortable with him touching me without hurting him? And could there be a reason that I am only uncomfortable with him? How do I explain that I get paranoid, panicky and scared when he touches me?
...............................
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (11 June 2009):
 B's suden appearance in your life shouldn't mean so much to you if you were only friends with benefits, if it's bothering you so much you should ask yourself if you really do like him more than you're willing to admit. You should never date someone because you feel pressured and A is getting mixed messages from you, you need to tell him sooner rather than later that you don't want to be with him that way. Just don't go out with people that you don't really like and you won't get yourself into this situation again!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): You need to explain to A that you do not feel comfortable with being any more than friends. If he can't accept it that is his problem.
I think you might benefit from some counselling as it sounds like you fear commitment and also go along with things you don't like.
...............................
|
