A
female
age
30-35,
*verlasting
writes:For all of my life, i've been strongly attracted to guys, so i've always considered myself "straight".But recently, some things happened: I became really close friends with a tomboy-- she dresses like a guy but is actually emotionally like a girl. she may look like a guy at first glance ,but she's very pretty and very kind hearted and i think that's why i'm so attached to hanging out with her. i highly doubt she's lesbian, because i know that she's liked guys before, just like me. i've known her for many years, but i got to know her better this year. And didn't have any attraction towards her before...just in the past 2 months. it's kinda wierd.and one more thing: i have no interest whatsoever in other girls. AT ALL. lesbian relationships don't excite me or anything, although i do support GLBT...it's just that being with my tomboy best friend makes me wanna go hug her or something.can someone explain to me what's happening? Am I bisexual or something?? ~everlasting
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): The problem with sexual preference is that it's dictated by a spectrum of desires on various planes. It's like a person's preference in short, petite women with long black hair - it doesn't mean that person will ONLY find short, petite women with long black hair attractive. It just means that person has a particular interest in that sort of style.
With gender-specific sexual preferences, people also work on a spectrum of what they feel is attractive or not.
You don't become bi-sexual. You are what you started out with. Over time, you become aware of what you began with and choose to pursue those desires or not.
Like myself, I can find a man attractive, but my sexual preferences are in women. However, there has been at least one time in the past that I found another man more than just attractive, but that was mainly due to his femininity. He was what people would call, "Cute".
Anyhow, just apply the spectrum of desires to your question and you may find an answer to your thoughts. When you do, you will find that there are no black and whites when it comes to attraction, desire and preference. The part of the spectrum your preferences fit most in, is your most preferred desire and all the shades surrounding that would be what you're emotionally and mentally compatible with in terms of being attracted to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): you are not bisexual ur just having fealings would u ever act on these fealing. would u rather look at a guy and have sex with him or look at girls?
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