A
female
age
36-40,
*ennieGeek
writes:A few months ago I slept with a guy in another state that I had just met. He is a family friend of the friend I was visiting the state with. He had literally JUST broken up with his girlfriend, so I wrote it off when I saw him two weeks later and nothing happened. She is also a family friend, and was there.I added him as a friend on Facebook, and we communicated a few times about music on my initiating, but nothing more.Recently I got the idea that it would be fun to have him visit for a weekend, and do a few fun things and have lots of great sex. He responded after about a day and this is what he wrote:"Sounds like a very fun idea, however starting this weekend I'll be on call for the next few months and will need to stay home. If something changes I will definitely let you know!"Now I know the part of him being on call at work is most likely true, because a friend of his posted something about being on call at the same job and he has seemed busy before I asked. So I figured I'd be fun, say too bad, mention that I was visiting again next month and told him he should give me his number so we could exchanged dirty texts, that I thought that would be fun too.It has been four days, and I've not heard back from him. I am aware that the first time was a random hook-up, and I am really just wanting to sleep with him again and made that clear so now I'm wondering if he was just turning me down nice, or if he really does want to hook-up again but can't find time? Again, we are in different states, about 4 1/2 hours away.What do you think he really wants?
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female
reader, RennieGeek +, writes (9 October 2010):
RennieGeek is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo, just wanted to say, after a few weeks, he contacted me last night. He honestly must just have been busy. Thanks for all your answers and advice, I truly appreciate it.
A
female
reader, RennieGeek +, writes (27 September 2010):
RennieGeek is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, I didn't realize how complicated the situation was. Everyone is asking questions! My point is, he responded to my invite, does it sound like a nice way to turn me down even though I do know as a fact he is busy at work, or is he truly interested in the idea?
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (27 September 2010):
I understand what you wrote to him. But again, it's just my opinion, but it could very well be interpreted that you are looking for just sex...in hopes that it might turn into something more. And as far as the exchanges you had with him about music, you said YOU initiated them. I'm wondering if since your one time hookup, has he ever initiated contact with you?
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A
female
reader, RennieGeek +, writes (26 September 2010):
RennieGeek is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, so there seems to be confusion about how clear I was, and what I wanted, so here is what I first sent him:"I have this idea, and it's a little crazy but I think it could be fun. I had a good time with you back in July on my first visit to Omaha and was thinking about it earlier today, and I got the idea that maybe it would be fun if you came and visited here for a weekend? I know 4 1/2 hours is a little far for some tail, but it is just an idea. We could hang out, maybe go to a couple bars or something a bit more interesting and exciting, and have lots of good sex. A little blunt I know, but why not spell it out right?If the idea is too crazy or unappealing, no big deal. But I figure why not at least throw it out there right?"Which was followed by his response in the original post, and then here is what I sent him after his response:"Well that's too bad that I picked a busy time to have a fun idea. I should be coming back sometime in October to visit some haunted houses but since my friend is driving I don't know how I'd ever get away discreetly for a hookup then.You should give me your number so we can exchange dirty texts once in a while. I think that'd be fun too. ;) "And I have not heard back from him. So, with ALL that information, which is all the information about the situation, what do you guys think?Again, before I suggested he come here for a visit we had a few exchanges about music but that was it.
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (26 September 2010):
You may not want a "real relationship" but if it was just a hook-up before, maybe by talking about doing more than just having sex now, that's how he is seeing it. That you are trying to turn a one-time(?) hook-up into a relationship, even if that is not your intention at all.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (26 September 2010):
 yea but there are still going to be people that already live in his town and are a few minutes away; 4 1/2 hr is some dedication (and he might think, desperation). still if he wasn't into it i guess he could have blown you off entirely so just sit tight for a couple of months til he's not on call anymore and decide from there whether his interest is genuine or not.
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A
female
reader, RennieGeek +, writes (26 September 2010):
RennieGeek is verified as being by the original poster of the question@fishdish When I put the offer out there, I told him I knew it was a far drive for just some tail but that I thought it would be fun to go to some bars or something interesting, and then also have lots of good sex. I was very blunt. Since we started out as just a hook-up I wanted him to know I don't expect anything from it like a real relationship.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (26 September 2010):
He sounded interested but how 'casual' can casual sex be if you have to travel 4 1/2 hours to get it?
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