A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am wondering if any one can explain why my new partner doesnt want me to see my ex wifes child even though i bought him up for 8 years since was one and he is my sons half brother ? confused
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (30 November 2010):
 Is your new partner really that thick or so jealous she doesn't care about the feelings of this child or young person?
Tell her, you are a package deal and that you would appreciate it if she would attend counselling with you so that you can, as a couple, work out how to deal with the issue.
Personally I would chose the child.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): As you say this boy is your son's half brother - he has to be in your life. Your partner has to accept that you come as a package, as people do when they have been part of a family. It would be very cruel to cut this boy out of your life.
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (30 November 2010):
She is probably threatened by the bond you have not only with the child, but more importantly with your ex-wife, even if you are clearly no longer together. Those are parts of your life in which she has no involvement, it's all unknown territory to her, so I would suspect it makes her feel insecure. She also probably wants to be your no.1, and doesn't want you ex popping up in your life.
However, especially if she is the same age as you, I think her behaviour is extremely immature, selfish, and, in my opinion cruel. If you brought this child up for 8 years and you still have a good relationship with him, then you have a very special bond and an important place in his life, and I really, really hope that you will not let a new partner ruin all that for her own selfish reasons. The fact that this boy if your son's half brother strengthens that fact even more. It sounds like you have been a father figure in this boy's life, and that position surely outweighs the opinion of a new partner. Partners come and go, children don't. I appreciate that you may not be the boy's father, but 8 years of bringing up a child is a long time.
Please do not let your new partner have her own way over this. You need to prioritise. I would say her motivations are a mixture of jealousy and insecurity, probably also to do with your contact with your ex wife. I cannot see why else she would try and stop you. I would say, however, that I hope you have clear boundaries between you and your ex.
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