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Why doesn't he ever want to discuss our future anymore?

Tagged as: Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 September 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *tssimplyme writes:

Ok story is like this...

I been in a online relationship for 15 months..

We been online close friends for around 3 years, and very very good friends at that.

Well when we first became a couple, the romance and way he behaved towards me was amazingly special. He called me " His earth angel", he sent me pictures, he regularly went on cam with me, he sang romantic songs on voice, and basically he treasured me.

Well we been going through a rocky couple of months, now over this time, we have argued which makes me cry so much because i hate arguing with someone i seriously love so much, yes some of you probably thinking well how can she love someone she never even held hands with, well I DO.

We planned on meeting soon, well i say planned as im extremely shy and nervous about meeting him, but because I love him that much i will conquer my shyness, he has seen me on cam etc so he knows what I look like.

We have shared sorta close moments together, he sleeps sorta on voice software with me every single night, but sometimes i feel he does this to make me happy, umm.. this is sounding like all me at the moment but it isnt..

Well my problem is he seems to be getting really distant, or is it me wanting too much? He used to send me at least one text a day saying how much he loves me.. he never ever texts anymore.. at all.

I asked why he dont text me no more at lunch he says he dont have time, yet he has time to mess about with mates.

If i ask why he seems distant his reply is " its not me its you misery moody and such" ummm im only quiet cos he seems distant..

Is it that he isnt that into me anymore?

He never talks about our future anymore, is this cos he dont want any future with me?

He never mentions us meeting anymore, is this because he dont want to?

I asked outright once and it ended in a arguement and me saying SORRY yet i only asked what was up and going wrong with me and him.

He also stated that " things change" i said what changes he said the moods that i go in make him change.

Anyone help or been in similar circumstances to me?

pls im desperate i dont know what to do.

View related questions: shy, text

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A female reader, itssimplyme United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2008):

itssimplyme is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He now informed me he having a birthday party, cause i like i sorta agreed to wait till he finished education etc before we meet now i cant go and i understand this but yh it still sticks a knife in

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (30 September 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntWell if he doesn't want to meet you, I suggest you stop trying to put a cylinder in a square hole and move on.

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A female reader, itssimplyme United Kingdom +, writes (29 September 2008):

itssimplyme is verified as being by the original poster of the question

you dont understand... i want to meet its him that doesnt.. he says he is a mess and has low self esteem, i seen him on cam .. i love him so what difference it make to him.. he jambles on about dieting etc..

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (29 September 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntHe controls his own behavior. The only one making him change is himself. Find someone nearby you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008):

I think he know you are shy and does not want to hurt you. It sounds to me like he is not interested any more. 14/15 months is a long time to have a relationship with someone you have never physically met. Your last chance is to go and meet him or he will cut contact altogether. Men need the physically side and not just the emotional support (which it seems he is giving you). Put your shyness to one side and go for it. If you don't you will never know if things could have worked out...

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