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Why does my girlfriend not allow me to perform oral sex on her?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 January 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 January 2018)
A male Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My GF and I have been dating for 3 years. Our sex life is very good and frequent. The question I have is she will do anything in the bedroom with me except allowing me to go down on her. I have asked her many times as to why and she said she doesn't really like it. We tried maybe 5 times in the time I have dated her. I have asked if I was doing it wrong and she said no. She also is very self conscious about me seeing her vagina. I reassure her she is very attractive and sexy but she still remains shy about it. She gives me oral all the time and says she enjoys it. I love that my GF likes to please me but I hate the fact that she will not allow me to return the favor. Don't get me wrong she enjoys intercourse and almost always has an orgasm. But why after this long is she still conscious about her body in that area and will not allow me to orally please her.

View related questions: oral sex, orgasm, sex life, shy, vagina

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2018):

If she told you she doesn't like it, then she propably doesn't like it. Respect it.

(I'm a girl. I don't like it. I too orgasm almost every time I have sex. What's the point in having oral then if I prefer regular sex? And I feel self concious about having someones head between my legs and stressed out about having someone indirectly waiting for me to orgasm...)

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (6 January 2018):

[EDIT]: "They shouldn't have to "submit" to make you happy; while hating it done to them."

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (6 January 2018):

If you've asked her many times; and the answer was because she doesn't like it. I think that should be enough. You also said she is also very self-conscious about you seeing her vagina.

We men have to learn to take no for an answer, when it comes to sex. You will not die if you don't perform oral-sex; and you had best respect her wishes. Sex is not good-sex; unless it it is consensual, and both parties receive mutual-pleasure.

Let me tell you what dozens upon thousands of American men have learned the hard way; if you haven't heard the news!

Women don't like sex-acts forced on them that they don't like or consent to. They shouldn't have to give you a power-point presentation to get the point across. They shouldn't haven't to "submit" to make you happy; while hating it done to them. It's her vagina, and it's supposed to be primarily for her pleasure! Let her decide if and when she wants it. If never, so be it! You love her, then accept that!

In any case, show respect and patience. In-time, she may compromise or change her mind. It should not be under pressure or your persistence. Strictly voluntary!!!

Maybe she won't. Learn to adapt. Each woman in your life is different, and likes different things. Some women like to strap on a dildo and do their boyfriends. They may love him and like doing it. How willing are you to go that extra mile, if you don't like it?

She enjoys intercourse and almost always orgasms. Keep-up the good work!

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States + , writes (6 January 2018):

Perhaps she doesn’t like oral sex. If after three years she won’t let you do it and it’s not affecting your sex Life negatively let it go.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 January 2018):

Honeypie agony auntIf she isn't a fan of oral, respect it. Don't push her to do things (especially in the bedroom) that makes her uncomfortable or overly self conscious. Why? Because it RUINS sex for her.

Use your fingers instead. Do erotic massages... USE your imagination.

I think many women are VERY conscious about the scent and taste more than how it looks. Others just don't enjoy the sensations unless the guy is REALLY skilled.

Overall, if she isn't INTO it then don't push it. There are PLENTY of other things you can do in the bedroom to get her rocks and socks off.

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