A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Should I confront my 'best friend' about this?Me and my best friend used to speak every night on the phone and have been drifting apart a little. He got in some trouble and went to jail for a year and is quite restricted as to what he can do to ensure a bright future.While he was away, I briefly dated his oldest friend, who treated me so horribly, 9 months on I'm still upset but I know better and I am just trying to move forward. He definately knows this.I told him about everything and he agrees that he friend was not a good person towards me. Fine. They're still friends and as I said we have been drifting. Before he went to jail, I was stuck on what I wanted to do in life and I wasn't in any for of education or work. Now I'm on my way to university and I feel like he doesn't want to know. He disregards everything to do with education and he seems to play up on certain things he knows for a fact will bother me.Drifting apart meant a decrease in phone conversation and no initiations of them and whenever we did have phone conversations, he'd be quite silent, all I really have to speak about is college now so...He didn't seem very interested whenever we spoke.So I'm texting him now and he asked me if I wanted phone call, I said Okay...come to find out he's with the guy I dated. He's sleeping over. He said he's trying to call me from the guy I dated's phone but it won't go through 'cos I blocked it. I don't get it, you know how horrid I felt and you're basically opening old wounds. That's exactly what he's doing. What does this look like to you? I mean since he's come out, he seems very insecure, which is understandable. He's often frustrated with where he is right now in life. Thats exactly how I feel right now. But it seems he's taking it out on me, and also in a weird way, trying to make me feel bad as well by exposing me to someone he knows I cut out of my life for good reason. Does this seem like the consequences of dating his friend or Am I right in assuming that it is quite shady of him?Please help. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2012): It sounds as though your friend is jealous that your life is moving forward and you have a bright future ahead of you while he does not. He doesn't want to hear about uni because it reminds him that he is not going anywhere, and he is bringing your ex back into your life because he knows it is a sore point for you and will make you as miserable as him. Its quite sad that your friend feels this way but at the same time this is not the behaviour of a good friend - he should be happy for you no matter what, not deliberately trying to upset you and drag down your happiness. I think you are better off keeping this distance between you and him and looking for new best friends when you get to uni. Good luck!
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