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Why does my ex continue to try and hurt me?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Why does he continue to try and hurt me?

My ex and I split up several months ago he have children. It was I who ended it as he had not been a good partner. In the relationship there was no trust, there had been lies, he is an abusive man physical, verbally and emotionally. I have made it clear I want no more but he still continues to say he loves me. He sends me messages some are totally pointless. I don't if he thinks he can wear me down and I will give in. I was very hurt when we split up and it took him over 3 months to.say sorry. When I relationship ends its sad but he is acting the opposite as though he's really happy and I the miserable one. I just don't want to come across to him that way. It's as if I don't know my emotions anymore.

View related questions: my ex, split up

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012):

You have not made it clear or he would have stopped He is happy because YOU have not let go

You must thrive on being treated bad, be addicted to his attention or you would have had him arrested by now

Thats what your average woman would do to a loser like him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012):

This man is continuing to mess with your head just as he did throughout your relationship. This will only continue if you let it.

Ignore his texts and his phone calls. Don't go anywhere you know he may be. Tell him to stop all attempts to communicate with you or you will report him to the police and have him charged - AND MEAN IT!

This man knows all your emotional buttons - he's been pushing them for years. It's no wonder you don't know what way is up.

Do you have family or friends you can call on for support?Why not contact Women's Aid? I'm sure they'd be able to provide you with some support, or put you in touch with someone who'll help you get strong enough again to deal with this loser.

Don't let him keep doing this to you - especially for the sake of your children. If you have girls they are in danger of thinking they should accept treatment like this from a man. If you have boys they are in danger of thinking it's alright for a man to behave like this.

Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012):

Hey girl we are the same situation...its hurt but we to move on...goodluck

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntBecause he can, and.. you let him.

Spend the few $$ (or in your case Pounds) to have his number blocked. and decide that from now you you will have absolutely NO contact with him and stick to it.

He is one of those people that just can't understand why YOU can't see he was "a catch and a half!".

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012):

"Why does he continue to try and hurt me?"

Because it's hell of a lot of fun. Why wouldn't he? When you keep that door wide open for him. For a guy like him, having this much control over you really is a lot of fun. He gets to make a fool out of you, he gets to laugh at and abuse you, and you let him so he is having a great time as are you. For a girl like you being treated like a dog is also a lot of fun, if it wasn't then why would you let it happen? Simple, you like this kind of game, otherwise you wouldn't play because it's very easy to cut someone out of your life for good and move on, but you won't.

Enjoy your game OP, I hope you win it some day.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntWhy does he continue to try and hurt you???

Because you let him...that is why.

If you continue to let the BIG BAD WOLF in...then you only have yourself to blame.

Cut contact and move on because if you think this man still loves you after all that he has done then you must enjoy being abused.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (30 March 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt Ignore him, in fact, block him. Don't give him any way or mean to contact you . And stop worrying about how you could come across to him !

Your emotions may be all over the place, but seldom emotions are a reliable guide to valid decisisons. Use your brain instead : " emotionally, verbally and PHYSICALLY abusive ". That's it . Game over. Don't tell me that you'd like a second helping of physical abuse ??!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012):

Ignore his messages tell him to stop all communication or your going to report him to the Police for harrassment

He is emotionally abusing you still and you don't have to have your life ruined by this excuse of a man

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