A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When my boyfriend had been married, he had what he said was a brief affair. That is not the reason for divorce as his wife never found out. Anyway, I've been with my BF for about 10 months and we are going on vacation in April. He decided to contact this woman to wish her a happy birthday and told her that we'd be in her area in April. He then mentioned to me that his "friend" wanted to meet me when we got there and turns out this "friend" is the woman he had the affair with. I got really upset with him for contacting her after all this time and also for thinking I would even want to meet her even if they are just friends now. I wouldn't ask him to meet guys I screwed around with in my past. Am I being unreasonable? First that he even contacted her if he claims she didn't mean anything and secondly that he'd bother to mention he'd be in the area and lastly that I would even want to meet someone he was screwing? He looked shocked that I got so upset at him.
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male
reader, Flashbacks +, writes (31 March 2009):
I don't think you are being unreasonable. My gf kept telling me about this friend of hers who was a "great guy", she's "really good friends with him", "he sends me text pictures of his new kid", "my kid and his kids would hang out and play together", etc. etc. Eventually it came out that they had "dated for a short while" in the past, but after a period of not talking, they started talking again and were "friends". My gf also said that I "would like this guy" etc. I asked if the two had been intimate when they were dating. She said they had. I then told my gf that because of that, I probably wouldn't like him that much. Since then, she hasn't brought him up and I seriously doubt that I will ever meet this "friend". If she asks me to meet him again, I will probably tell her that I am not comfortable with her being friends with any man she has screwed in the past. I just think that is something you shouldn't subject new loves to; I wouldn't do that to my gf.
A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (30 March 2009):
 you're not being unreasonable. Let him know it.
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