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WHY does he want anal???

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2011)
A female New Zealand age 30-35, anonymous writes:

dear readers,

recently by BF has taken to asking me to have anal sex, but i really dont know what to do here?

i dont really want to, but at the same time i am a bit curious. i want to know does it really hurt? does it feel better for him? is that why he want it.

im not sure but there is just something that isnt quite right for me with someone putting something "up there"

i know its up to me if i say yes, but what would justify me saying no?

please help.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (29 December 2011):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntI've no clue why men are into anal. I've done it a few times only with considerable lube and in the process of having sex with multiple partners, but it's really not been fun even so. Just the lure of doing something different I guess. And if a guy feels he won't have a satisfying sexual experience without tapping my ass, he can look for his sexual experiences elsewhere.

Don't do it if you don't want it, it should be that straightforward.

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A male reader, Red Green 0289 United States +, writes (29 December 2011):

oh, so many misconceptions here...

First, anal is "Big League" sex, not something that you simply decide to do one day. It's takes preparation, and possibly weeks of anal finger (and/or toy) play to get a woman relaxed enough to take a cock in her ass.

Enema's are NOT manditory, and in fact I've never been with a woman who used one prior to anal, and in all the years, I've only had a couple of poop situations, which makes it somewhere around 1 in 50 times. You're sticking your dick up a womans ass, you'd better not be grossed out if a tiny spec of crap comes out too! If so, anal is NOT for you!

Anal should NEVER hurt. If it does you're rushing the process. Slow down, learn to loosen up and then proceed.

Anal is usually tighter, and much warmer. It is taboo, and creates a heightened sense of naughtiness. Even better when your GF asks you to fuck her in the ass Play up the verbal!), and even BETTER when she comes from it.

Anal sex can cause massive G Spot orgasms in women, as in certain positions, usually woman face down on the bed) the tip of a guys cock will be rubbing her G-spot. I've been with women that came HARD from anal, and one who squirted like a fountain!

Use tons of lube, and a condom. The condom smooths the penis and can make penetration simpler, clean up super easy, and prevent the guy from getting a UTI. FYI: I've seldom used condoms for anal (stable log term relationships!) and have never gotten a UTI.

Read up on anal, try taking baby steps. If you like one, more to the next. Do all you can to learn to give and take in bed!

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A female reader, Princess Aunty Mauritius +, writes (1 February 2011):

Yeah it do hurts. Some women are for it and some are not. First time it surely hurts a lots..maybe blood might come out as well.

And as for anal sex..it depends on a person..some boys prefer anal over vaginal and vice versa.

If you don't feel like going for it, then say No. He should respect your decisions

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A female reader, Lilfoxxy Australia +, writes (1 February 2011):

All I can say is go with your initial feeling about it. Don't be talked into it if you don't want to do it. It's natural to be curious. your bf should be understanding about it and support ur decision if ur uncomfortable with doing it - what would his reaction be if you wanted to use a 'toy' in the same sense on him?

U have a very strong muscle down there which is designed as and exit not an entry huni! Anal sex can cause piles (hemeroids) and if he is not gentle and u are not relaxed it can be painful and u could cause a tear ...

Look it's a sexual preference some love it other just don't find it their cup of tea. Talk to ur bf about how u feel about it, and go from there. Sex is a consentual act between both parties for pleasure enjoyment and connection - u won't get any of this if u are anxious, unsure or concerned about something you are not 100 percent sure u want to do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011):

"No" is reason enough. Saying that you don't want to and you're not ready should be reason enough for any man that respects you. If he pushes too hard, he doesn't respect you, he just wants something from you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011):

He is into it, probably for the same reason most guys are: a woman's ass drives us crazy =)

Frankly, it's more mental than physical, as others have said that vajaja is heaven. However, the mental is not to be taken as trivial. Sexual dominance can be very exciting! Doing something "naughty" can be very exciting!

You are curious so why not try it. Use a lot of lube and make sure you have respectful communication. You may try it but be unable, for example, and he'll just have to be grateful that you tried. Good luck!

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A female reader, charliesdevil73 United States +, writes (1 February 2011):

charliesdevil73 agony auntIt's your body, only you can make the decisions. I have tried it twice. Once to see what it was like, and I did not like it. And again a few years later to see if I would still dislike it, and I will never do it again. For me it didn't hurt all that much, but it felt like I had to poop so frickin' bad. It was very uncomfortable.

You are very young and like ravenhairedlatina said, you are probably just as tight in your cubby hole. If he tries to pressure you and won't respect your decision (if you choose no) you might want to walk away from this guy. Nobody should ever be pressured into doing something they don't want to do.

Good luck either way.

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (31 January 2011):

bruce lee agony auntI don't think you should do it. It is not normal. If he loves you, he will NEVER do this to you. That's just my opinion.

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A female reader, missm83 United States +, writes (31 January 2011):

missm83 agony auntanal sex could be the most wonderful feeling in the world! but you have to do it right and take your time. i love it love love it! i read a lot on it and watched videos...take your time, use A LOT of lube and you have to be in control not him.. best way to start anal play is buy a anal toy ..it worked for me. goodluck!

ps:if you dont want to do it dont its your body not his

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011):

I completely understand why you are asking this question. My ex boyfriend was dying to do anal with me but I was scared for the longest time. I made him respect my decision unti I was completely ready to try it. I never understood why men want to try it in your axx when heaven is only 2 inches away. I don't see how it would feel better for them because it's not as warm and lubed up like your "cubby hole" is. Some men say that it's tighter and if that's the reason why he wants it then you should tell him to go stick it up his own ass.

However, it's your body and it's your decision. If he's forcing you to try it, please don't. If you are curious and he tells you that he's cool with your decision either way and respects you, then try it if that's what you really want. Personally I don't know what the big deal is. I've tried it once and it hurt like a son of a bixxx. It doesn't feel good at all. You are very young and he shouldn't be asking to try anal with you at this age. You are probably as tight as your axx anyways so why would it matter to him?

Please think hard before making a decision about this. If you don't feel comfortable about doing it you can always tell him that you will eventually try it with him one day but your just not ready to go that far right now.

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