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Why does he smell his fingers???

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2008) 21 Answers - (Newest, 15 March 2008)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and we have had sex. I have given oral but not received it, which was more of my choice because of me being worried about smelling bad (even though I don't think I do). Lately, I've noticed that after he fingers me(or touches me when I'm a little wet), when he goes to go wash his hands off, he smells his fingers first. I can tell he's trying to do it without me seeing, and he does it pretty much every time now. Why is he doing this???

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008):

my answer.. it smells good.. i always did the same.. and i was always a bit embarrassed having her think i was weird for doing it.. so i tried to hide that i did it..

it's a very erotic smell...

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A female reader, mandabaaby Canada +, writes (13 March 2008):

mandabaaby agony auntIf your soo worried about your smell (which you shouldnt be) then shower daily or even before sex, and drink juice, drinking juice as in (fruitopia, or fivealive) enhances the taste of your feminine juices. He smells his finger quite regulary by the sounds of your story. My boyfriend tastes his fingers because he loves my taste. Waz is right, our smell is to attract and turn on our men, its our seductive trap ;) I thought I smelt bad in the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend so I went to the doctors, they told me its a natural smell and if I really smelt bad it would smell off and dirty, so the doctor herself told me to drink fruity juices that it would enhance both my smell and my taste. And believe it does. My boyfriend plays with me and tastes me like a little kid eating a popsicle....

Goodluck-- Feed me back with a follow up.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

wouldnt do it in the first place!!!!!! typo error not awake yet ENJOY YOUR LOVELY RELATIONSHIP! LOVE MAD MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

Hi Hunny

If he does this everytime then he likes your smell, Thats natural hunny nothing to worry about..He would do it in the first place if he didnt like it and you dont go back to something you dont like, So dont worry so much hunny try letting go a little more and see what happens its not one sided as its your choice but try it hunny it is really something else just relax sweetheart and close your eyes and go for it..Plus talk love you cant no unless you talk... TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (13 March 2008):

tux agony auntPersonally, I'm in the "he likes the way you smell" camp. But I can be biased because I like the smell personally. To me, if he thought you smelled bad, I would doubt he would go and try to smell his fingers when he could easily not smell them and just wash off his fingers. Personally,if you really want to know then you need to talk.. but i really do think he likes the scent because he keeps doing it. and I think you may want to reconsider your stance of not letting him go down on you, because I have a feeling that's where he is going with the finger smelling. Personally, I love going down on my girl and would be a bit disappointed if I couldn't be would take any chance I could to smell or taste her. But then, you may want to talk things over with him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

I think he likes your smell. I do that with my wife because I like her smell and she laughs when I do that. Of course, I allow her to see me do it. I think he wishes that you would allow him to give you oral and just wants to enjoy whatever he can have. He probably hides it because he is afraid that you will think he is wierd or something. I think you should be flattered. Hope I am right.

Talk to him about it and tell him that you are flattered that he might like the way you smell. Perhaps you could allow him to get his face down there without actually giving you oral. If I am right about him liking your smell, this would allow him to enjoy it without you being afraid that you do not taste good. Allow it to progress in steps until you are comfortable with it.

Have fun and it does sound like a good relationship.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (12 March 2008):

DoubleM agony auntAnd yes indeed, I'm confident, 60-years-old, and know how to please. What is wrong with that? I have girlfriends, thank you. These are opinions and I try to help.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (12 March 2008):

DoubleM agony auntGuess I missed the part about him "wanting to." That did not become clear until her first response, which posted the same time I was writing. Did not see it beforehand.

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A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2008):

BigSis agony auntYou are absolutely right, hon, we told you, didn't we? Your boyfriend has been with you for over a year, which just goes to prove that you do not have a problem with your relationship - and it most definitely is NOT one sided! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks again for the responses. We do have a great relationship that is definitely NOT one-sided. He does so much for me in many other ways, he spoils me rotten basically.

I've decided, if he didn't like *my scent* he wouldn't keep doing it, right?

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A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2008):

BigSis agony auntWith regards to both DoubleM's replies, i personally do not think that your relationship is at all one sided, and doubt very much that he's being 'very selfish', as you said he want's to go down on you - but you're not ready for that. So give it time.

You also said that you don't think you smell bad, he loves you, and i'm sure if he didn't like how you smelt he would say so, or not continue with foreplay, and because he smells his fingers, then washes his hands, this action doesn't necessarily mean he does not like how you smell.

No, your relationship seems reasonably stable enough to me. Things will work out, you are two people in love, and when two people are in love, they open up to each other, and that's what makes a perfect paring.

I can't agree with Laura's reply either, i'm sorry.

Good luck hon. xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

Eh, he smells them BEFORE he washes them, an important detail another poster seems to have missed, then I think you may be worrying about nothing.

He might be smelling them to see if he can smell you NOT because he hates the smell, but either because he is curious or EVEN because it turns him on.

After all, if it disgusted him, he would wash his hands FIRST, then smell to make sure it is off. If you accidently break the toilet paper when wiping your ass, you don't smell your finger first before washing it right?

Some men actually like the smell of a woman. Also a girl getting wet is a sign that you did it right. He may just be making sure. Just like hearing a cat pur if you scratch it right.

I think you are worried about your own body for nothing. This whole thing about women smelling like rotting fish is just a tale for virgins. If you wash regularly and you don't have an infection it shouldn't be a problem. Let him be thejudge. Anyway, if you give him oral, you should know that bad smell and taste don't stop anyone from pleasing their partner.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

DoubleM I am almost twice the age of this couple yet I envy their attitude towards their problems. Both of them are trying to consider each others feelings and isolate any problems from their actual relationship. I don't understand your answers at all. Your responses appear to be prejudiced against the man she is so much in love with, and he appears to be just as much in love with her.You also big up yourself as his substitute. This is a common theme in most of your respone's here viz; condemning the guy while promoting yourself as the most suitable replacement for him.

If you ever feel that you may have some sort of control problem ie;you regard yourself as the substitute "lover" of womankind, then I'm sure the more serious contributors here will do their best to try to give you the best advice they can.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (12 March 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntAfter he washed his hands , he smells his fingers to see if those smells are gotten rid off.

He does not like to have those smells following him around.

That would gives him away.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (12 March 2008):

DoubleM agony auntIn my opinion, you still have a very one-sided relationship with your boyfriend if you are pleasing him orally and he withholds such enjoyment for you. He is being very selfish not to reciprocate, because it will likely be the most pleasurable experience of your sex life if he knows what he is doing. It takes quite a lot of experience, but the value of this foreplay is immeasurable for a woman.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the good answers! This is making me feel a little better. It's not that we can't talk about it, I just don't want him to feel bad if I bring it up, kind of like, "he got caught."

About the oral thing, I have self-esteem problems, being slightly overweight, and so it's more Me not wanting it yet, than him not wanting to do that for me. He's said before he wants to do it. I'm just not ready, I guess.

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A female reader, Gena Bullock United States +, writes (11 March 2008):

Gena Bullock agony auntIt's a 'male' thing. Some things during sex turn men on and some don't. if this bothers you in the least and you can't talk to him about it...go find another boyfriend who wants to be open and discuss these kinds of things. Believe me, there are ones out there who love to talk about intimate subjects you're describing. Best of luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008):

Yea, wizardofwaz has got it spot-on. Most guys I know love the scent of an aroused vagina, myself most definitely included! Many years ago, after spending a couple of hours with my then lady, I would drive home, constantly smelling my fingers and reliving the night! Sorry to be so blunt! It seems that you have been denying yourself some amazing pleasures by instigating this no-oral-for-me stance. Don't be so self-conscious, let yourself go and enjoy this relationship to the max!

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A female reader, xapathyxrebornx United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2008):

xapathyxrebornx agony auntHmm honey, some men like to smell their woman. I dunno why but some do. As long as you wash regularly, im sure your fine. Every girl thinks she smells bad and is worried but try not to worry.

Regards your boyfriend maybe you should talk to him. After you get comfortable with yourself ask him if he would like to give you oral. Some/most men like the taste of their mate wierdly enough haha.

Anyway make sure thinks are equal in this relationship btw. I mean like dont just pleasure him in a certain way like oral make your you get some to hun

(trust me its damn amazing) x

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (11 March 2008):

DoubleM agony auntHard to say why he does that. It is very much a turn-on for some men. Many of us love to embrace our woman's lovely aroma long after activities, and may not want to eliminate it if she was fresh. I'm a man who enjoys her taste and pleasantry all night long, but mainly after giving her oral satisfaction. He apparently may wish otherwise. It sounds like you have a very one-sided deal going on here.

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A male reader, Paladin United States +, writes (11 March 2008):

Paladin agony auntIts called the sniff test, he is doing exactly what you think he is doing. regarding smelling bad, like everything else, everybody has an opinion. regardles of what you mave have heard everyone has a scent and I don't mean that in a bad way. Sometimes its stronger than others and ironically some people enjoy their mates scent. I don't mean to be crude here but it is easy to check and you should know if it stinks or not. Since you appear to be concerned with this I suspect you are bathing regulary and that should be all you need do. You really should be discussing this with him and look for and expect an honest answer. I have noticed that the longer the womens hair is the stronger the scent. I guess hair can absorb some aromas as well as dampness. You really need to work this out with him because if he isn't giving you oral sex then in all likelihood you are not going be as satisfied as you could and should be and eventually the relationship will end.

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