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Why does he keep reminding me that he’s single, is he only looking for something casual?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 May 2020) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2020)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

In every conversation I have w/this guy he throws it into the conversation that he's a single man. Or everytime we meet up he reminds me of his relationship status. And he always ask me “when’s the next time you’re coming over?” Or “when will i see you again?”

He never straight up asks me out he always asks me when do i want to see HIM

I’m not sure if he wants me to be the aggressor or he just simply doesn’t like me

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (4 May 2020):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI hope you are not having sex with him while he keeps remind you he is a single guy. There is no problem with someone being single. Indeed, many people are very happy being single. However, he cannot have his cake and eat it. He cannot be single and have sex with you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2020):

[EDIT]:

Typo correction:

"If he has to keep reminding you he is, you haven't confirmed you are!"

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2020):

Are you single? Is he a co-worker, or your boss? If so, that's a no-no!!!

If he asked you out, would you be inclined to accept?

It's always good to hide behind a little humor (avoid curtness or cockiness); when you want to give a shy-guy an opening, or coax him a little. It helps to relax the tension; and it lets him know you're open-minded and approachable. Under the appropriate and proper-circumstances, of course!

He's throwing too many hints to be shy! If he threw anymore, he's going to knock you over! He may be waiting for you to confirm you're single, before he asks! He can't just assume you are! Some deceptive and needy-females will "lie by omission;" even if they have a neglectful-boyfriend, or husband. Willing to have an affair with some cute-guy! He wants you to confirm verbally that you are single too! Say the words! I think that's a smart approach in these days and times! Presume nothing! If he has to reminding you he is, you haven't confirmed you are! So...are you?

"Hey, dude... do you wanna ask me out, or what?!!! Why don't you take a chance and ask? Stop throwing hints at me, before I just say "no" on general-principle!"

Seriously! If you've gotten the wrong signals...which I seriously doubt...what could he say, but that wasn't the reason he asked. Why would he care otherwise? Besides, you know you wanna! I still warn you that it's not a good-idea, if the guy is a co-worker!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 May 2020):

Honeypie agony auntI have to say WHY not asking him straight out?

It seems like he wants more, what exactly HE wants none of us can say, HE can though, so ASK!

UNLESS you are not interested in him. And if you are not, perhaps you need to step back so he doesn't think you string him along? Because someone who CLEARLY wants more, is not going to be a GOOD friend.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (4 May 2020):

kenny agony auntI think if he did not like you he would not be asking when is he next going to see you, and also keep emphasizing the fact that he a single guy all the time.

I think he likes you, but is lacking in the confidence department and is scared to ask you out, maybe of fear of rejection.

If you like this guy, maybe you can help him along a bit. Not sure how long you have known him, how many times you guys have been out, or indeed if you have even been out with him yet.

Its 2020, ask him out if you like him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2020):

I'm sorry but I don't understand what the problem is. Why would you think he doesn't like you? He keeps asking you when you want to see him again? What's wrong with that? He obviously wants to see you again and this is his way of asking. I don't think he wants you to be the 'aggressor' as you call it. He is asking to see you again every time you talk to him. I think you are seeing problems here when there aren't any.

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