A
female
age
41-50,
*myxavier
writes:hi id really apprecitate some advice on this please guys. i have been trying to save my marriage after finding out certain things about my husband he was hiding things from me that have turned out to be not a big deal but he hides things from me that if he kept me in the frame i would not find half as bad. he used to hide porn from me all the time which at first i was young and felt it was a threat to our relationship but ive come to realise its fine and now i watch it too, but no matter how much i tell him its fine now he still hides it from me why? and him and his freind have friendly banter that i dont understand why he talks to his friend in a dirty way that apparently is just a laugh and messsing around but even so he hides it from me. i know i dont really agree with it or like it but when he hides it it makes it feel worse than it is. he is a good man has never cheated and seems very very in love with me but im scared that if he hides silly things like this from me what else could he be hiding? i have real issues with trust and would love to get that feeling of trust back but every day i feel like im preparing myself to find some thing really bad/ help. what can i do and why does he hide stuff all the time when id understand a billion times more if he was honest
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 Hi ok am guessing he hides this stuff to protect you as he probably knows you have trust issues and he doesnt want to fuel them even more.
Ok so it is quite normal for guys to watch porn maybe he is hiding it from you as he wants it to be his thing and doesnt want to share it with you or maybe he feels that you are not comfortable with it.
As for the dirty banter with the lads this is what men do am afraid but they dont often show it to there partners for the simple fact is they might get offended.
It does sound like this man loves you and you need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel, tell him you have trust issues and that you would just prefer for him to be honest with you about everything because when you find out about silly we things it makes you think that a lot worse is happening that it is.
Am afraid though that there is only so much he can do as your trust issues are your own therefore maybe you should go and seek help for them.
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