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Why do people do people act like they are in love so easily ? How do I tell him that he's crazy?!

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2014)
A male United States age 16-17, *ohn1999 writes:

So my friend and I just got done texting and he has known this girl for like four days and is already saying that she is his dream girl.

I've been telling him that he is crazy and that he falls in love way to easy. Why do people do that? How do I tell him that he's crazy?!

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A female reader, DearAngel Australia +, writes (1 July 2014):

People 'act crazy' sometimes when they meet someone they are very attracted too. They may even think they are in love.

Sometimes these feelings pass and sometimes they just.... don't. You need to respect your friends feelings and his decisions just as you'd expect the same from him. I know it's hard especially if it looks like a 'train wreck to you. This is your friend, you can't tell him he's crazy. We'll actually you can try BUT will he listen? probably not. As his friend, just be there for him and when you need him hopefully he'll be there for you someday when you need him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2014):

Hello. I see your point you're trying to make towards him... you are just trying to be a good friend and that's nice. I understand what he's going through because I was there a lot of times and it's part of being a teenager, I'm still one, but growing up so I'm trying not to make these kind of mistakes even though it's hard.

Like the others said, it's just puppy love, it won't last very long, etc. and I agree, but give him a chance because I know how it feels if somebody tells you that you're crazy and it won't work (no offence)and maybe, just maybe he surprises you... two possibilities: he will come to his senses or their "relationship" is going to work out.

Like Mark1978 said you don't want to appear jealous, that can cause a big problem between a friendship like yours.

Even if I'm a girl I must admit that we can cause problems, but sometimes it's just the opposite for us. :)

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A female reader, OuttaTime88 United States +, writes (1 July 2014):

OuttaTime88 agony auntA lot of people mistake infatuation for love. This is what your friend is doing. He has created a fantasy in his head of what being involved with her will be like, based on what he's learned about her in 4 days time. He doesn't see her as human right now. He has her on a pedestal. I think a lot of people tend to feel this way when they become interested in someone new in their life. They have only ever seen the good qualities in the new person and never the bad ones, which everyone has since no one is perfect.

I recommend being more supportive of him for now. If in the future you learn something bad about her, for example a history of cheating, I would let him know. Other than that, I would let them be. Only time will tell if she is right for him.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (30 June 2014):

If she is his "dream-girl;" then she is everything he can "imagine" a girl to be. So he's not crazy or in-love! He is all rolled-up in a big crush. If you don't know what love is, you'll use it to describe the biggest crush you've ever had for someone. If it hasn't happened to you yet. It will.

You're feeling pretty logical right now; until the girl of "your dreams" comes along. People will think you're crazy too, and you won't know why you're behaving like that.

He'll come back down to earth, as quickly as he zoomed away to Cloud 9. Puppy-love relationships are not real, they are imaginary. The last a few weeks or months. Like you said; no one can fall in-love that fast. Reality sets in, and they will realize it's sorta crazy. It's nice for the short time it lasts.

Be a good buddy and make sure he doesn't lose touch with reality. That's what good friends are for. She could break his heart, and he'll need a sensible friend like you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2014):

You've already told him that. Loads of teenagers "fall in love" (infatuation) easily and quickly because it's the idea of having someone to be with who loves you in that way and vice versa. I find it a bit irritating how naive people can be - particularly when choosing their new partner over their long-term friends or family, or when they allow themselves to be treated badly because they'll "never find love ever again", or even allow themselves to be used because they're "in love".

However, it's common and you shouldn't call them crazy multiple times over it. Just tell him not to rush it if you think he may be about to begin a sexual relationship with her, because they're not ready for the possible consequences.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntDon't take his claims too seriously, most youngsters get carried away when they meet someone new. Its only natural for him to be excited and wanting to tell you how happy he is.

I agree that four day in is far too soon for judging whether this girl is right for him but if he is the same age as you then I would humour him and not say anything to burst his bubble. You don't want to appear jealous ;-)

Mark

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