A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is a question mainly for the men out there. Why do you think that lasting hours while having sex is what women want? I've noticed this with all 5 men I've been with - they seem to think that lasting for ages makes them some sort of love God or stallion and they will try to flip me round and do a million different positions in order to last as long as possible. I've spoken to my girlfriends about this and they agree that after even 20 minutes it can start to get raw and sore down there so another 30 or 40 minutes is definitely not required or even possible at times! However when I try to explain this to men they look at me like I have 2 heads and maintain that other women have loved their marathon sex sessions (please note I'm not including foreplay here, I'm talking about actual penetration). Is this because the fear of finishing too soon makes them think that the opposite must be better? Or do they think it's more manly to go for ages?
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male
reader, NotAnXPert  +, writes (10 January 2014):
I agree that this is NOT a porn culture thing. I moved into my sex life long before porn being readily available (of course there were magazines but those certainly cannot be claimed as the perpetrators in this discussion, right?). Ask yourself whether you have ever heard movies, television, columnists, talk show hosts, comedians/comediennes joke about the guy who lasts a long time? Of course not!! The jokes are ALWAYS about the 15 minutes and done guy.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (3 January 2014):
Oh how I wish for the 5 minute quickie.
Sex typically takes me 30min to an hour. Always has, I think it always will. My brother, the same thing. To be honest, I often wish for it to be much quicker myself.
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (2 January 2014):
Almost everything has been said, a real list of good and bad of men & women sex disturbances.
I just wanted to add a thing then: women have to consider that their body is made for pleasure, as it is covered and stuffed with erogenous zones, without talking about multiple-orgasm ability that women know or not to take advantage of. Reversely, a man body is a little bit poor from a sexual point of view. Much fewer erogenous zones, and when a man has shot his load (sorry, things have to be said as they are) that's the end of the show. Some men have the courtesy to give some more service to their "she" afterward but many of them just can't even bear to have any sexual activity after ejaculation, due to a temporary sexual disgustement.
In short, some men want to last in order to make their - quite poor - pleasure to be a bit longer than it is by nature. Never forget what a wise indian told us centuries before: the woman sexual power is eight times stronger than a man one. I don't know how this figure has been calculated, but I'm not far from believing this kamasutra expert told the truth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2013): wiseowle is spot on. ditto.
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A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (31 December 2013):
It's probably why so many men visit prostitutes,they don't have to prolong the act,it's to get relief in a short a time as possible(after all they're paying for it).Most male animals in nature do it in the shortest time possible so why should it be any different for humans.Personally speaking I start to loose excitement after 5 to 10 minutes and consequently becomes hard to maintain erection and I've lost count on the number of times I've faked climax.That's just how it is.I think mother nature made a design flaw as far as humans are concerned.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2013): Ha ha ha, always blame it on porn! This has been a man thing long before porn hit video. It's depicted in the Kama Sutra from ancient times.
Men think that the longer they last the more likely they will get a woman to orgasm. Some are really just that horny; and haven't had any for a millennium. They're making up for lost time, and storing some aside for memory during dry spells. He might need to give himself a hand.
We listen too much to the media that sell male enhancement products. Your boyfriend may be using the "blue-pill" that some guys purchase on the black market, or through doctor prescription. He could be experimenting with male sexual enhancement aids and you're his guinea pig.
Flipping you around in all sorts of positions may be inspired by porn; but it's more about fulfillment of a fantasy. He does aim to impress, and be the stud in his own imaginary porn story. He's healthy, strong, and young.
Like most sexually active males; searching for the ultimate sexual experience.
He's showing off. If you're not impressed, there is definitely some other woman who would be.
If you told your girlfriends about it. That's too much information. You only stir up unwanted curiosity!!! I often warn you ladies about discussing your bedroom secrets to girlfriends. It's stupid. They will only go after your man behind your back. Dumb, dumber, dumbest!
Women complain to DC that they feel inferior compared to women in porn videos. So is this your opportunity to complain when you're his fantasy come-true? Want to switch places with a woman on the opposite end of the spectrum; whose man prefers the videos to live sex?
By the way!
Make sure the video isn't running on his camera phone during sex. You just might be an undiscovered porn star. Just kidding...a little bit. Maybe. Maybe not.
Stamina is manly and virile in every culture.
Size does matter. Especially to guys with little penises. To women, who lie about it. It matters to the sex industry.
Use good lube, it minimizes the friction and rawness. Try some of the latest textured condoms and use the special lubes designed to give women added pleasure, and sensation. You'll appreciate the marathon sex. It'll glide.
I may sound like a condom ad; but I have girlfriends too. They tell me everything. They don't mince words and don't beat around the bush. They're allowed to tell me. I'm gay and I've improved their sex-lives, and they improve mine.I had sex with women first. I have experience.
Lasting forever is better; if you read all the sad posts from women whose husbands and boyfriends aren't giving them any at all.
Count your blessings. I'd say you were bragging, if I didn't know better. You're lucky all the same.
As for us guys.
Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 December 2013):
 Porn. That's where they get it from.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 December 2013):
 Well, I think Cerberus is partly right it's something that has always been emphasized (big dicks and lasting long = good sex), but I also think it's the day and age of "pornification" - specially when you say he will "flip you around from position to position. Pretty much porn there.
The thing is IF you are NOT enjoy it you NEED to tell him WHAT you do like and HOW you like it, I honestly think most men would be happy to hear that 45 min is not required (unless you do tantric then it ca be hours but that is a whole other kettle of fish).
Add to the fact that MANY woman fake enjoyment and orgasms.
Then add that there are STILL many many men who think that penetration is the ONLY way to rock a woman's world (unfortunately there are women who think that way too) and again, it comes down to communication and TEACHING your partner what YOU like, how you like it. And Listening to HIS needs too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2013): Nothing to do with porn culture, it's been like this forever.
OP men have been taught three major things about sex from women which none of you try and change. Three myths which we've learned from you.
1. Penis size is a very big deal. It matters of course but it's not the end of the world if you don't have a 10 inch towering beast, but women do constantly gush over big penises then say "only small guys say size doesn't matter".
2. An orgasm during penetration is every man's duty and if you don't give her one you're a failure and shit in bed.
Which leads to
3. Lasting matters, the longer the better.
OP we grow up with girls gushing about big penises and how amazing guys who have them are. How the best sex they have was a guy "who could go the distance and was wild and adventurous" shagging for over an hour and who blew their mind during sex and left them "sore and wanting more".
We've all grown up seeing women swarm around the guy known to have a big dick who can "last".
Worst of all OP you ladies mostly don't correct us and some then give us shit for not magically knowing.
I have had nearly 100 partners before I got married. I can empathise with those guys because I went through quite a few women before I figured things out with one who was actually cool enough to talk about sex, what she likes what she wants and wasn't afraid to correct me during sex because unlike most women she wasn't scared of hurting my ego.
OP most of you will just keep your mouth and let us continue, most of you are too afraid to be open and honest with us that a lot of guys just never learn. Especially seeing as we all want to be best and don't want to give up until you're screaming your head off or visibly having an orgasm which as you well know doesn't happen every time, nor does it need to to be enjoyable.
It;s kind of like the big breasts thing. It truly does not matter to us guys, we love all breasts, but guys do gush over the big ones far more and far more visibly so it's not so much of a stretch that women will feel inferior if they don't have a big chest. The same guys look at you like you've two heads you should the reactions from women I get when I say small are my favourite. They literally think I'm some of kind of weird fetishist or only saying that to patronise them and make then feel a bit better about their breasts.
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A
female
reader, Maccy3 +, writes (30 December 2013):
Not a bloke but I was talking to a male friend about something similar. He was worried that his girl wasn't coming during sex. He was prolonging in the hope that it would help her get there and getting frustrated because he was ready to pop much sooner. What it seemed in this case was that it came down to communication. It's the thing that no one likes to admit in bed - that they don't really know what they're doing. But when you think about it, no one really does when it comes to a new partner. What may have made you a stud with girlfriend number 1, may leave girlfriend number 2 cold. But very few people have the ballls So they just keep ploughing away in the hope they get there. It sounds like your getting some very insecure reactions when you raise this as a criticism. Maybe instead trying diverting their attention to what makes you feel good. Once they know they're sorting you out and so can still maintain the I'm a stud ego, they may speed up on their own.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (30 December 2013):
 Because no one ever thought them about sex. 2nd...men last forever in porn...idots. Not even animals last that long.For men...your love muscle is to finish her with a bang, not to bang the Sh*T out of her.Sorry my dear. I appologise for all the cave men. Took me most of my 20's to figure out the difference between sex, and "let see you walk after that orgasm baby."Truth is...no one teaches us. Most women accept men the way the are, and do not expect better. They just move on to the next guy hoping he would be different.The long lasting thing comes in because, most men do not know how to get a woman so turned on she starts shaking...And that before sex. They think putting it in is the only way. They know women take long to orgasm, so they think "if I go longer, she will have an orgasm." Women NEED foreplay, and that does not mean touching her all over...simple rule boys...Get her mind right, and you will have good night. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2013): I know exactly what you mean. I too get annoyed of the marathon sex and soreness. Please men do answer.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2013): again it is the porn culture kicking in.
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