A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do guys say they want one thing then act totally different like they don't? Thing is my immediate answer would be, hes a player. But hes not hes a nice guy. He says he wants to be good friends with me yet he wont make any effort with me or speak to me much when we are out. he seems more interesting in whoever else may be there. It gets me down because i feel i cannot win, i cannot do anything right and i dont know how to act.A Part of me wants to try and talk to him more to get him to speak to me because he is pretty quiet anyway. But at the same time i have tried and failed so i feel i need to ignore him and wait till he comes to me, which i dont think he will ever do as he will just say to other people that im not speaking to him. I dont know what to do please help?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (5 September 2010):
 This could be one of two things - either he's playing hard to get, which is driving you crazy enough to want to chase him, or he's not interested in you.
My question to you is - do you want a guy who makes no effort for you and shows no interest in you? You say he's pretty quiet. Right now, that offers the allure of mystery. But think down the road. Let's say you get close to him. Being aloof and uncommunicative doesn't really bode well in a marriage unless that's the way you like it.
So, I guess it's your call.
A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (5 September 2010):
 You've answered your own question, but you can't see it, coz you over thought it.............. Without offending the blokes reading this, some (not all) are simple souls, they dont think as deeply as most women, but he likes you, wants to get to know you, so left the ball in your court, you know he's quiet, which may mean he's shy, or lavks confidence in conversing, you've confused this as beng a player, So decided to wait for him to talk to you.......Can you see now where this is going wrong?
Just talk to him, go up, say hi, what you been up to lately?, and take it from there, if he is rude and doens't even try and answer you, he aint interested,and was bs'ing you before, but if he stumbles with conversation, but doesn't attempt to move away from you, then he needs help, probably due to the fact he fancies you. So help him along by talking football, work, baseball, or whatever else you know he has an interest in.
Go for it. whatever happens, at least you'll mind with be at rest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010): If I were you I would act distant. Im not saying that if he talks to you to ignore him but, just give short sweet anwsers. Dont act over joyed that he said hello or something. Play it cool and let him wonder why your more interested in whose at the parties or w/e and not him. For example, if he says something like "oh i wonder if amanda will be there" you should respond "o idk i was actually kind of wondering if alex was going to be there" and giggle a little. it will drive him nuts! if not at first it deff will. GOOD LUCK
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