A
female
age
26-29,
*zzygurl
writes:Hey everyone I lost my virginity yesterday to my boyfriend of six months and he was a virgin too, I'm 17 years old and I don't regret it at all. Ok so when we first started doing it, it was kinda awkward but later we got it right. And we used a condom too. I didn't bleed and it didn't really hurt that bad but when I told him to go all the way in, it hurts so bad, it's like a very sharp pain, I told him to not go all the way in anymore but he was still inside but not all the way, and my boyfriend was like "baby you gonna have to let me go all the way in sometime because it's gonna keep hurting if I don't". Ok my question is, what was that pain? And why did it hurt so bad? And should I let him go all they way in next time so it stop hurting other times we have sex? Thanks :*
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (22 January 2013):
Two things to consider.
First, your vagina is a ring of muscles. Your B/F's erection had to stretch those muscles open as he entered you. As you probably know, it sometimes hurts when a muscle has been stretched - especially if it has never been stretched like that before. You were probably very nervous, which made you tense up and increase the discomfort. (My wife and I were wedding night virgins and she said getting her pussy split for the first time was more painful than getting her hymen ruptured.)
Second, the details of positioning, angle, and depth may have been poor. I'll bet you were on your back, he was on top, and pretty much pinned you with his body weight in a "missionary" position - that's how most of us lose our virginity but it's not the best position for either the boy or girl. He may have "bottomed out" against your cervix. I'm told this feels (to a girl) about like a sharp squeeze to my testicles - rather painful. You probably had very little freedom to adjust your body to find the most pleasurable angles, depth, etc so he may have been pulling you into a position where your genitals were not well aligned. Since he was also a virgin he doesn't really know how it's "supposed" to feel, or how to "read" your reactions. Try positions with you on top - straddling his hips, or laying out full length on top of him, for example. This lets you control the angles, depth, and rate of penetration. There is NO WAY that he can know exactly how it feels to you, so he can't make any adjustments to positions or angles to make it feel better. Many (perhaps most) women find it easier to climax during intercourse if they are on top.
It is an unfortunate fact that the condom may have aggravated your experience. The bare penis slides in easier, and gives the boy better feedback to know if he is hurting you, especially if it's the first time for either of you. That DOES NOT mean you should have irresponsible sex! Contraception and STD's are VERY REAL problems, and you need to deal with them responsibly! But "condoms" is not the only solution, and especially for first-time sex it's often not even a very good solution - MANY teen couples don't use condoms correctly, and don't realize that they aren't getting the "protection" they want until it's too late.
When my wife and I took each other's virginity the sex was physiologically lousy, but the emotional intensity and satisfaction was awesome. Many couples have a similar experience. Our second time was just a few hours later. We were less anxious and more relaxed. What we learned from the first time was still fresh in our minds. We put her on top, and it was MUCH better from the physical perspective. It would still take a week or more of several-times-a-day sex before she started having orgasms during the actual intercourse, but it was still mutually enjoyable.
p.s. - It's water over the dam now, but if at all possible please give some serious thought about your relationship. If possible, do it with your B/F - in a casual situation, in the daylight, not in a car parked in a lover's lane at midnight. Six months may be rushing things a bit, and giving yourselves to each other sexually at this point may hinder the growth of your relationship.
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (20 January 2013):
 It just does your first time unfortunately. It isn't anything to worry about. The good news is it gets better every time and you will soon be able to really enjoy it. A lot of girls have terrible first time experiences yours doesnt sound too bad so be grateful for that, hard bit is over now time for the fun part :)
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A
male
reader, xgod +, writes (20 January 2013):
 That pain was possibly your vaginal muscles being ripped and stretched apart like never before.
Using a condom is a good thing, but without additional LUBRICANT, the friction of the condom against your virgin muscles causes heat, burning, and will tear your vaginal muscles.
The next time you have sex, make sure you use lubrication. Visit your local drug store and look for some "vaginal lubricant" or "personal lubricant" like KY, Aqualube, Astroglide, or another. Personally, I find that KY tends to sting senssitive areas when not applied properly, but Astroglide seems to be best from my personal experience.
You can apply the lube to the condom after he has put it on, bot the tip and the sides. And you can also insert some into your vagina to ease the action.
Eventually, you will find the "perfect amount" to use and it will solve some of the problem.
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