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male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my partner for the past 4 years. We have 2 children and another due in 6 months time. A few weeks ago at the beginning of december, I was at the usual office party and a co worker came on to me strong and told me she was crazy about me. We snogged all evening and I made arrangements to see her the next week. We had a couple of sneaky lunch dates and then she asked me to meet her one night in town for a drink which I did. On the way home I realised what a mess I was getting into. This girl boosted my ego and made me feel good. My partner and I hadn't been getting on She has being moody and short with me and I realise now that was no excuse for what I did.I feel terrible for what I did to my partner. She is the love of my life and I will have nothing to do with this co worker again. Should I tell my partner? If I do I know risk losing her and I can't bear the thought of that. I have never been unfaithful to her before and my tryst with the co worker never went beyond heavy snogging and petting.Why did I ever let myself be fooled with flattery etc.I need advice.Peter
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female
reader, vixter36  +, writes (28 December 2008):
hi peter,
you have made a mistake and recognise it which is a good thing! we can all get bored with our partners but you do state that your partner is the love of your life.
also think of your children, they will also be the ones who get hurt if you tell her as mummy will be devasted and they need their mummy!!!
i am nearly 6 months pregnant and you state in your post that she is moody and short with you. Pregnancy really messes with your hormones big time so try to be patient with her as i understand what she may be feeling. i can be a right pain with my fiance but he loves and respects me and i know that he wouldn't go off with someone if i was moody..... if he did i'd kill the worm!!!!!!!!!
learn from your mistake. you were flattered, but remember the grass IS NOT always greener!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Okay, once again I will probably have people disagreeing with me, but I can only voice my own opinion! Although you didn't actually follow through, you were unfaithful to a point.
What will telling your wife gain you??? You will hurt her badly, as well as destroying your family! You have to think of your children, and put their wellbeing first. Use this as a learning experience and NEVER repeat it!
Paul Newman used to say when asked about his faithfulness to his wife Joann Woodward, "Why go out for hamburgers, when I have filet minogn at home?" Remember that next time you feel you need an ego boost!
Good Luck and Best Wishes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Dear Peter,
First of all congratulations you have just reminded yourself that you are a human being with normal thoughts, feelings and desires. Well done for stopping the tryst in its tracks. Forgive yourself immediately, its over....and do not tell your wife it will devastate her. Use your feelings of guilt to motivate you to healing the relationship with your wife.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): the only thing benefited by telling her is piece of mind for you. I think you should suffer in silence and just treat her better in future!!
saying that you have said you were with your collegue all night do other people in your work place know about it? if they do then maybe you should come clean its better for your wife to hear it from you and not someone else.
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