A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8-9 months and we have sex occasionaly but my boyfriend is always horny but I have trouble getting wet. He thinks that I don't want to have sex with him but I really do. I just can't. When we do have sex it hurts me because he is huge but he does not understand. What do I do to make him realize that the relationship doesn't have to include sex? He knows I feel pressured so he always asks and if I say no or that I don't want to we won't but he still seems angry or unwanted. I don't know what to do or just to pretendt that I want to have sex with him. Please help me understand why guys are always horny!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): Men need it....it's important to him. You too just need to be on the same page. My suggestion is to tell him how you really feel and if he's not happy with it to leave. He will eventually leave or cheat if he's not getting what he wants in the relationship (sounds cruel but it's true). So bring it out into the open and see what he says........also try oral sex...men won't ever turn that away :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to most of you.
I guess I have thought about some of those things but I just thought maybe asking some random people for advice might help.
Thanks!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): Right, you obviously need some guidance. I'm 18 years old and even I know what your problem is. You can't get wet because your too busy worrying that he's going to hurt you, if he does make him stop. Tell him he's too big (you never know he might take it as a compliment). Take your time, and most importantly RELAX. There is a thin line between pain and pleasure. And if all else fails, make him lick you out!! (get artificially wet) You can't be expected to keep him happy all the time. What about you? There are plenty of other things you can do that is sex and will pleasure you both without having intercourse, Think about it (: x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 June 2010):
Whoa. Sex is an important part of a relationship. It's not the single most important part, but there is no way you can expect a man to just switch off. It's not just guys who are horny. Girls are too. If you don't like it, then it could either be that you're not ready, or that you don't place as much importance on it as others. Either way, you have to accept that guys will want sex. Fact. There's no getting away from it, in the same way that there will be girls who want it. Fact. It does sound like you need to slow right down, and you need to make this very clear to him. But relationships are built around many things, and one of those things is sex. It is important.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): Because it is important!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): You shudnt pretend that you want to have sex with him. It's not just guys, a lot of women are always horny too. And to a lot of people sex is very important in a relationship. Your boyfriend obviously views it as important. And it's not always about being horny, it's about the closeness and intimacy and the ability to pleasure the person you love.
If it's just that you can't 'get wet', either you're not excited - or you don't have enough fluid in your system (drink lots of water, i dont know if this helps lol but u shud drink lots of water either way so it's not bad advice), but you could always use a lubricant to make you wet and therefore make the process of sexual intercourse somewhat easier? If it's just that he's huge, try to take it very very slowly and make sure to use lots of lubricant and do things that make you excited - if it hurts, this might be why you're unable to become excited about sex. Do things you enjoy, do lots of foreplay, touching and kissing, and see how things progress.
However, if taking things slow and getting used to his size does not work and it continues to hurt... i'm not sure what to suggest? You can't ever change the fact that your boyfriend wants sex.
Talk to him about it seriously, tell him what's wrong - see if you can work on it together and if you can't ever get over it... maybe you're not suitable to be together. It sounds harsh and somewhat wrong to not be together because of sex, but it happens a lot. You want different things sometimes and you can't change that.
i hope this helps.
good luck. x
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 June 2010):
 There are alternatives to vaginal sex that will be much more enjoyable to him and less painfull for youuse your hands and your imagination- Lucky guy!
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female
reader, keikoBell +, writes (22 June 2010):
 Guys produce large amounts of testosterone, especially during puberty. This hormone increases their sex drive, so for him this is natural, but it doesn't mean you should 'pretend' that you want to have sex with him. This is something that should be special for both of you, it's not just about him & his needs. You should discuss this with him properly & tell him that you are not willing to put up with his selfishness. Just tell him that you need him to listen to you & take your needs into consideration. If he continues to get angry then tell him where to shove it! Anyway,
Good Luck
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female
reader, Spades  +, writes (22 June 2010):
 Sex is very important in a relationship. It is what differentiates a relationship from a friendship.
I believe sex is important to some men because they look at it as a form of bonding. Women are able to bond many other ways without looking weak whereas men often are pegged as weak or inferior for exposing a vulnerbility. Which isn't right. So when they are denied sex they look at is as rejection.
Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with, but you should express some of these concerns with your boyfriend.
You mentioned trouble getting "wet"? You might consider using a lubricant you can buy at any local drugstore or pharmacy.
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