A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:We met 3 years ago through an online dating site, and found that we live in the same area. Very quickly we were seeing each other every night (except for weekends) and he moved in with me and my kids after just a couple of months. After about six months we began having arguments about the fact that he goes back to his parents every weekend to have his kids, and leaves me out. I suggested he brought his kids to my house and that we did days out together but he always had an excuse ready not to do that.He finished with me after almost a year due to the same old argument going round in circles. I was diagnosed as depressed and had counseling to help me deal with the break up. It took me 10 months to be myself again, then he contacted me out of the blue, apologizing and stating things would be different. I agreed, but after just a few weeks things were the same and we drifted apart again. I heard nothing from him for around 6 weeks during which time my birthday and christmas passed. Then he began contacting me again saying he missed me and knew how he treated me was wrong and wanted to have the chance to prove he had changed. Again I agreed to meet with him and listen to his promises, but just 3 weeks on things are the same. I know he is no good for me but I can't seem to resist him, why can't I listen to my head and not my heart?
View related questions:
christmas, depressed, move on, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you prion, what you said makes a lot of sense, you are basically totally right. It is just a hard slog convincing myself of it!
Cindycares, I feel (as do my friends) that if he wants a future with me then he should be willing to involve me in that side of his life, not keep me separate from his kids, quality time or not, it's no exuse. It is hardly fair on his (elderly) parents for us all to be around there when I have more room here, logically it makes more sense for him to bring his kids to my house.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 I think (just my guess ) that what the other poster was tryng to say is that rather than insisting that he brings his kids to your place on weekends, you could join him at his parents and spend the day all together.
Personally I may add that I can understand you feeling neglected and left out ,but I also understand his wish to spend quality time alone with his kids so that they can have all his full attention focused on them and not having to share it with you.
But I guess that if you can't accept that, -you just can't. As you said,by now you know it is wiser not to try rekindling the relationship because every times it gets sinked by the same old argfuments. If you cannot force yourself to follow your head, -you'll just have to wait for the time when you will feel that's way more painful being with him without peace and harmony,than being without him. But it may be a long and painful process.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry but i did not understand any of that. Nor did it seem to have any direct relevance to my question posted
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): In all relationships, you need to adjust to him. NO men will come without his beloved ones, so you need to respect that.
Best bet will be to form a good relationship with his beloved ones, ( MOM / DAD) and he will always be yours and will have lot more reduced arguments.
else relationship b/n 2 individuals w/o family members will be fragile one.
...............................
|
