A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have never written here before but I feel like I am lost in life - I feel very unfufilled and I'm not sure if that is because my insecurities or because of my upbringing. I felt like I was always compared when I was young and I felt like I was never good enough- my mom isn't the type to compliment but always pushed me to achieve and go higher. Needless to say I went to undergrad - grad school and year five in a corporate job I feel not good enough. I always try to justify my worth with money and it's a never ending game. I make an okay amount of money and my friends make more which makes me so jealous. I don't like what I do but I can't go down in money. I feel so stuck so unhappy. I have two degrees and I am so mad at myself for not being able to make more money; even at work I get jealous if someone gets a better project then me or if someone gets recognized . I always want attention and I always want recognition . My job is a great corporate job but I am not passionate about it- I am so hungry for money attention and recognition that I just feel overwhelmed at my thought/s - why can't I just put my head down and do my job? Why can't I just think "okay work is work you go there to get paid." Has anyone felt like this before? I've tried switching a job once for somethjg different but trhen I Oni led and when back to HR because it's safe. Any advice would be nice - I'm so lost
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2017): You did the right thing sounding off here and getting the beginning of these issues off of your chest. From here you have so many options - you might not feel like it, but there is endless possibility and where you have a will to do something you will find a way.
I could've read the tone of your writing wrong, but there seems to be some deeper issue between how your mum pushed you, and gave you little recognition, to how you now place your value on the money you earn. As much as we all love our parents they do sometimes leave us with unresolved issues. You seem to desire acknowledgement for your achievements, hence the jealousy of others getting the better projects or seeming to receive better financial reward for their efforts. I can 100% confirm for you that more money does not rid you of this feeling. So you can try to carry on as you are in you current job, but don't doubt you abilities or creativity. You don't think you could live on less but I leapt from a well paid job into utter uncertainty and a few friends have too. The second you truly realise you don't need acknowledgement from others, or approval for your decisions, you realise you're free to forge your own path in this life. I'd much rather be happy than have a big bank balance, as long as I pay the bills and am able to do things I enjoy then that is success. So many people trap themselves into jobs they hate to pay for new things they don't really want and it's all a vicious circle!
If I were you, I would seriously consider seeking a counsellor to help you work through your feelings and where you are in life. Just taking the small step to arrange an hour a week where you talk honestly about yourself to someone who will listen wholly can lead you to learn a lot about yourself. You might start to unpick the reasons you focus so much on earnings and once you understand those reasons you can start to free yourself from that feeling. You sound like you wat to make a change but don't know where to begin and that could certainly point you in the right direction.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 February 2017):
 I think you should visit a homeless shelter and help people who truly have no money. You don't need to feel jealous off them, plus helping them might actually teach you a thing or two. Money is not everything, you will realize that some day. Happiness comes from you. Not work, not money. You need to be more thankful for the things you have in life, and be less jealous off people and ignore what others are making or doing, it is none of your business! I suggest speaking to a professional.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 February 2017):
 As nice as it is to have money and a job - money doesn't make people happy. Not having money... doesn't make people happy either. But what I'm saying is, you think your friends are "doing" better than you due to making more money - it IS NOT the money, it's how they CHOOSE to live life.
I would honestly suggest you go see a therapist because you sound do down in the dumps. And I would also suggest you START doing some meaningful things in life. LIKE, volunteer. GO help out at a soup kitchen, food bank, animal shelter - and you will quickly see that there are ALWAYS people worse off than you.
YOU have job stability and security, which is MORE than most people have. If your job is unfulfilling then you NEED to find things in your life that CAN fulfill you.
You seem focused on the money and attention which means you may not be great at your job. Because you just do it because you have it. And that sounds so jaded.
THERE will always be people prettier than you, smarter than you, more successful than you, funnier than you etc. ALWAYS. But... there will always be people worse off.
Having a job that isn't exciting is what (my guess) 80% of the workforce goes through.
You can either WORK to live, or live to work. Personally? If what I'm doing (as far as job) isn't fulfilling I'd look to be fulfilled outside of work. And NOT by consumerism, not by having the newest Coach bag or Louboutins.
You can whine about having a well-paid job or you can DO something about feeling unfulfilled. I think your first stop should be a therapist and deal with the issues from your childhood that you still drag around and that DO hold you back from enjoying life.
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