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Why am I jealous that she's seeing other people?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 May 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2017)
A female Kiribati age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hello everyone...I have a gf and we have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. She lied and cheated me last year but we managed to get back. Now she's doing the same thing again so i broke if off. She said she loved both of us but i cant let that happen again so i broke it off. Now she's with her new gf. Did i do the right thing?? If yes why am i still jealous when i saw them together. I still misses her but i cant love her. Please help me

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (22 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYes you absolutely done the right thing. She broke your heart the first time, you forgave her then she done it again. This is not how we treat people that we are meant to love, you deserve so much better than this.

Off course it will be hard for you to see her with someone else because you still have feelings for her and it is still upsetting. But believe me you are much better away from her. You will find someone who love you and treats you the way that you deserve.

Give yourself some time to get over her. If you need to cry then cry, if you need comfort from friends and family then talk to them. All I can say is it will get easier but just do not have any contact with her at all. Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2017):

Someone once told me that you need at least one month for every year you were with someone to get over a break up. I think that's a little quick but you might want to remember that time will eventually heal all wounds. You also have the issue that your ego was bruised by her cheating. No one wants to realize that the person they care about cares for someone else.

The best thing you can do is first avoid seeing them together as much as possible and begin dating others as soon as you feel ready. And when I say others I mean many others. You're too young to be locked into a relationship. Go out and enjoy the heck out of your life and your youth.

Cheers and best of luck to you.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (22 May 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWe can't just switch off our feelings towards someone we shared our lives with for a long time, who we cared about greatly, especially at such an early age.

YES, you did the right thing in finishing with her when she cheated on you a second time, and YES, it is natural that you will feel hurt when you see your ex with someone else. HOWEVER, if you choose to move on and leave this relationship in the past where it belongs, you will eventually start to heal and not feel quite so strongly about your ex.

In the meantime, try to avoid places where you are likely to bump into your ex and try to fill your time with other friends and lots of activities so that you don't have time to miss her so much.

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