A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my girlfriend for a couple of months now and I've continually run into somewhat of an issue, and I can't tell if it's just me or not. When we are together in person, everything is AMAZING. I can tell how much she cares and it's written all over her. she gets that look in her eyes, and the way we interact together is great. We have great chemistry. The other night, she spent the night, and after sex, we just layed there talking, and she told me she was falling in love with me. I love being with her, and I never question her feelings when we are together. But when we are apart, it's where I start to get insecure. And this is where I'm afraid it's just me. But she's not big on texting and using her phone. Which is great when we are together because it's never an interference. But I'm just not used to going all day without hardly talking to the person I'm with. Half the time, her phone is dead and I never know where she is. The other half, she just doesn't use it. She leaves it laying around her apartment or she leaves it in her car. Hell, she even loses it a lot. Lol. She's special like that haha. Anyway, I'm just not used to being in a relationship with someone who doesn't keep in touch much when we are apart. It makes me insecure, and I'm not used to feeling that way. I don't want to be like that, but I can't seem to help it. I am just used to good morning texts and phone calls during free moments of the day. I'm not one who constantly wants to be on my phone but just to keep in touch, but she's hardly ever on it. She will send me a text at the end of the night and say goodnight, but that's about it. Anyway, I'm sure it's just me and I need to get over it. But for some reason I'm struggling with it. Advice please? Or just tell me I need to get over it!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 January 2013):
 Have you talked to her about this?
Have you told her you need a bit more contact?
Maybe a compromise is in order...
I know for me, When my now hubby and I were dating LDR (2 hours apart) I wanted way more contact than he did.
When we were not serious I did not ask about it and sucked it up.... once we started getting serious we TALKED about it. I acknowledged that he was not the needy one here, that I was the one that needed more contact than he did and asked him if we could work on it... He agreed to be more receptive to my contacting him.
We used daily email and phone calls. Neither of us are big texters.
Eventually we settled into a lovely routine... I would call him to wake him... even a 30 second wake up call helped me start the day... I did not initiate random contact during the work day unless it was something that needed to be addressed right away... (got more frequent as we started making plans to move him down to be with me) and then at bedtime if we were not together I would call him for my "bedtime tuck in" On days I had lots of emails from him or we had talked a lot already that call could be 2 minutes or if it was needed it could run two hours....
Once I knew he was receptive to my daily contact I could relax a bit...
now we are married and I see him every day but I still get a bit itchy if I don't hear from him once or twice either phone or email during the work day....
It sounds like you need to suck it up a bit... but maybe ask her how she feels about it..;. she just sounds like she's not much into technology...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2013): You need to get over it. Just calm down and you'll get used to it if you give yourself time.
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