A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When women wear revealing clothes - like skin tight exercise stuff, or a busty plunging neck line, as two examples - do they want men to notice? Does it make women happy to catch you staring, if you do so discretely? I am a bit confused about this. I see women dressing like this a lot, but they often seem to get a mad face if they catch you looking - even if you do so very discretely in a non stalker , rude, or jerky way.What's up with that? I would think women wear skin tight stuff, big cleavage shirts, etc, just because they want men to look. But don't look. Huh? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 When I wear clothes like that, yes, it is because I want to be noticed, BUT, I certainly wouldn't want anyone to say hi to me because of it. Oh no.
You don't need to give a furtive glance to spice up your day. You give a very quick, direct look in the eye, then quickly look away. You then, after about 8 seconds, do it again, and see if she meets your gaze. You then possibly smile, and go on your way.
Contact has been made. In a very brief encounter, it has been communicated that you wd like to leap on top of her, and she has accepted and appreciated (from a height) that compliment. She feels better. You feel better. All is well with the world.
That is how it works. Mostly. It is all very discreet, but also very bold. And very quick.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): I'm one of those who wear revealing clothes...not in a slutty manner. I believe I dress quite appropriatly but my neckline might be a bit lower or sometime my skirt may be a little higher (but not to the point where I bend over and everything is exposed).
My legs and my cleavage are two of my best assets and I like to show them off. I do it to boost my confidence and I don't mind if others look and appreciate what they see by giving a compliment like: "you look nice/beautiful today". Not "your boobs look nice"
So to answer your question...no, SOME of us don't do it for male attention (even though it's part of the deal whether I want it or not). I don't get dressed thinking "what can I put on to make them perv?"
However, if she's attention seeker or a prostitute that's exactly what a girl will ask herself.
From the 'other anon'
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Yeah, it's quite a confidence booster to walk into a room and have every man turn and stare. The girls who wear real attention grabbers (the things that leave NOTHING to the imagination and are an inch away from stripper attire) generally do it out of low self-esteem (I mean we all have something we're insecure about, and many women are insecure in their appearance). You shouldn't go up and start hitting on her and making lewd comments, but yes, generally tight clothes are worn to be noticed by men. We don't expect to make other women stare at us by showing off our cleavage and ASSets now...
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Please don't yell across the room "Nice Tits" - Seriously - some guy did that to my daughter the minute that she walked into a house party the other night - she turned on her heels and left the party...
I think NO girl would be offended by "Wow, You are really beautiful..."
;-)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 September 2010):
 I think what you're looking for is called a compliment. Something simple like; "I just wanted to say that you look really good in that outfit." Then walk away. Just make sure you say that to her face, not her cleavage. ;-) She never has to catch you looking in order to know you've checked her out and thought she was lookin' good. Just be careful of boundries due to office rules and such.
Women like when you notice something about them that they have changed or put work into. Think about it. Haircuts, a new shirt, new shoes... It's always bonus points when you notice these things in a relationship. It's the same if you aren't in a relationship. If she's looking particularly good today, she likely put some effort into it. She'll appreciate a compliment, just don't be creepy with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): No, there isn't OP, that's the act of a sleaze. Just get a nice long look but make she doesn't see you. Surely you know how to do that.
She doesn't need you to acknowledge that she has lovely tits, in fact that's kind of the opposite of what she wants, most of the time.
Just look as much as you want bu make sure your not caught like the rest of us.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo, would it be appreciated if I just looked briefly, smiled, maybe said hi while walking past (w/o stopping)?
I feel a little silly asking this question, but I want to look, and also, I guess to somehow communicate to the girl that "yes I noticed, yes I couldn't help but look, yes I like your clothing choice and you look good in it" all in a second or two as i just walk right on by? It seems a little underhanded and childish to steal furtive glances, trying not to get caught. On the other hand, I have no interest (or time) to be a stalker, or to try to engage in conversation just to prolong the view.
So, is there a pleasing, non-offensive, way to communicate or at least acknowledge the fact that a woman did a little extra to look sexy (for whomever) but as a man going about my business, that still is pleasing, and brings some interest to my sometimes drab day?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Yes they do, do it for male attention but also for female attention. Women who dress like that want to get noticed, they want to stand out from the crowd.
Yes they love it when they get male attention because of it, but not sleazy leering or staring.
Guys do it too though, look at the guys who spend all their time in the gym then go out wearing wife beaters to show off their muscles, they want the same thing except they actively encourage women to stare for as long as they want.
Whereas women have to be coy about it. Not just for the reasons blackrabbit stated but also because that's how it works. Women want you to work for it and not to just be after them because they have their tits on display.
My girlfriend said it was kind of a test too. When girls have very low cut tops and guys come over to chat them up, if he keeps looking at her breasts all the time (which is very hard not to do) then he's only got one thing on his mind. If however he's able to maintain eye contact while talking to her then he's interested in more than just sex.
For me that reason makes sense, she said she did it all the time and especially when we started dating. The thing is though she also would have been disappointed if I didn't have a sneaky look there every now and again.
You see women have lots little tests and tricks to judge the suitability of guys because frankly a guy who wants just get laid will say anything to get it.
Dressing provocatively is designed for women to be noticed first of all and then it's a good way of weeding out the sleazes.
Don't listen to any women who says she doesn't do it to get noticed, don't listen to any woman who complains about guys leering or ogling her either because that comes with the territory whether they like it or not, you just can't have it both ways. You don't want to be stared at cover yourself up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Yes and no... as near as I can tell (I'm a guy, so my approximation is inexact) it's more complicated than whether or not they want guys to look.
First, they want to be noticed - that's why they're putting themselves on display. However, for the most part, being noticed is not the same as being looked at. They want a giy to see the whole, not just the bits that are closer to being revealed. She wants to feel like you're seeing HER, not hr cleavage, like you think SHE's sexy, not that her clothes are sexy because they show a lot.
Next, whether or not she wants a SPECIFIC individual to "look" or not depends heavily on how hot she thinks -HE- is. No girl minds being ogled a little by the hot guys, but when us regular joes get caught peeking, it's the necessary irritation that goes along with being seen by the few she wants to look.
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 lol! Ok, when some women wear "revealing" clothes it's for the sake of fashion and of course, we all like to be admired however, we're taught that if we respond positively to looks and stares, men brand us as "easy" hence, most of us avoid this. In this age too, with so much bad around, women especially have to be careful and not "lead" men on. There are rape cases out there where rapists walk free because he was "provoked" by a woman wearing sexy attire. Where I live, skimpier clothes are reccomended because of extremely hot days etc. Yes, some women do dress solely to attract attention and admiration but in most cases, it's just to boost feminine sensual confidence. A working mom who doesn't always feel sexy may put on a tighter outfit for a workout just to get that small rush from admiring male glances. But, she won't want ogling or rude looks. You may see it as harmless, but she may not. Another thing is, we may dress sexy for significant others. So we dont want other men enjoying the view! lol
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (20 September 2010):
I wear a plunging neckline; mostly to let the hot flashes out and so that my head doesn't explode...
lol!
:^D
You need to learn the fine art of not getting caught, my friend! Men are visual creatures - this we know - and women wish to attract men! We simply don't want to attract pigs! So a casual, non-lingering smile and glance is fine, but bending forward and peering down a shirt isn't!
Women in our society can dress quite provocatively, but that does not mean that it is an open invitation to behave rudely or to suggest that the women isn't anything but a lady, even if you would like to think otherwise, considering the way that they are dressed. lol! Welcome to the Western World - full of contradictions!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 September 2010):
It's all part of their evil little game! They will show their goods off, but if you get caught looking you're nailed with a sexual harassment suit!!! Don't look brother, don't look!!!
Honestly, I've wondered this too. I think it's a little of both. They like that they look good and turn heads, while at the same time they don't like feeling like a piece of meat.
I used to get in trouble for this. One of the girls in my office was notorious for wearing low cut shirts showing off her abundant cleavage. On top of that, she'd wear necklaces that would hang into that cleavage. As iff the cleavage wasn't hard enough to avoid noticing every time I looked at her, now there's a shiny object drawing my attention down there even more! Then I'd get called a dirtball if I looked. It was damn near impossible not to look. It's not like I was sitting there staring and druling.
My attitude is this; Don't want me to look? Then DON'T SHOW IT OFF! I equate it to if I were to walk around with my penis sticking out of my pants and then I was offended that people were staring at it. It's absurd. I'm not saying women should only wear bhurkas, but don't be surprised if you get a few looks in your spandex getup either.
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