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When does sex feel good after losing your virginity??

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 June 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

When Does Sex Get Good? I Have Had Sex Several Times So Far But Still It Just Feels Weird Not Nasty Not Nice Just Boring... Is This Normal

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A female reader, Smellyellie United Kingdom +, writes (14 June 2010):

Smellyellie agony auntIt depends how close you and your boyfriend are in the bedroom and also how experienced you both are under the duvet. Obviously if you have only just lost it then things are going to be harder in the bedroom then if you are more experienced but the more you get to know each others bodies and what parts are the bits that turn you on the most then you will soon find that it can be a lot more fun then just lying there while he does all the work.

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A female reader, Carrot2000 United States +, writes (14 June 2010):

Carrot2000 agony auntInexperienced or careless man + inexperienced or passive woman = boring sex.

I agree with the advice of everyone who has posted and suggest you take it one step further: do yourself a favor and go out and buy a bullet-style vibrator. Take some time to learn your body so you can articulate what feels good and what doesn't. Once you experience an orgasm, you'll understand that sex is just as much about your pleasure as your partner's.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (14 June 2010):

YouWish agony auntThis is another reason why I hate porn. It depicts that all that has to happen is for the guy to whip out his penis, stick it in the girl, and she'll start moaning like a dying wildebeest for 20 straight minutes while the guy thrusts and grunts and rockets towards ejaculation.

What happens is that a guy thinks that that's all he has to do to satisfy a girl. No way, man! Bunny and Chigirl are right. If a guy is having sex with you and just kissing you for 10 seconds, rubbing his hands over you for 15 seconds, and then pretty much using you to get himself off, of course you're not going to like it!

However, let me assume that you're having sex with people your own age, so it's inexperienced guys who got their education from porn and other similarly uneducated guys about how to please a woman.

Also, YOU are inexperienced about what makes you feel good. You can't wait around for guys to gain experience. You must learn on your own what rings your bell so that you can teach the guy you're with how to do it. Luckily, most guys get a HUGE ego boost from making their girl scream for real, so they'll at least put in an effort if you tell them what you need.

You need some time alone to figure out how to have an orgasm, if you haven't figured that out already! You need to figure it out WITHOUT the guy so that you don't have to be worried about pleasing or frustrating him. Then, once you've figured that out, THEN you can teach him.

Above all, NEVER ever ever ever fake an orgasm. Believe me, a guy tells a girl what he wants (he'll even grab a girl's hand and PUT it on his penis!). You have to first, know what you want, and then demand it.

Also, the majority of your feelings are NOT in your vagina, where the penis goes. They're in the clitoris, the nubby thing that's just in front of it, that gets swollen and hard just like a penis does. That's where to focus your attention, and that's where you should get him to focus too.

Also, one of the biggest reasons why sex is boring for you is not enough foreplay. Slow kisses, lots of touching and teasing...he shouldn't be rolling on his back and letting you get him excited! He's already there!

Anyways, those are my thoughts! Don't accept anything less than the best!

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A female reader, Saranghaexxbby United States +, writes (14 June 2010):

Saranghaexxbby agony auntI think that your partner dosent have any clue of what he's doing. Trust me , i've been in situations like that. Have him to watch a porno to learn more moves. lol

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (14 June 2010):

chigirl agony auntHow many times? If it doesn't hurt you are over the bad part and now need to work on skills. Is he a virgin too? Tell him to focus on your pleasure and not just his own. For an inexperienced woman it is rarely pleasing to have intercourse, you should have clitoral stimulation instead. Also you need to practice moving while having sex, and different positions. Are you just laying still expecting him to do all the work? You have to put in efforts yourself and move around. Arch your back and move your hips etc.

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A female reader, BunnyTee United States +, writes (14 June 2010):

BunnyTee agony auntInexperienced or careless man = boring sex. In that regard, it's all too normal.

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