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When a man's heart and pride are hurt by a woman, does he try and hurt her in return?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Sex, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 September 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 1 November 2008)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

My ex and I had an extremely bad break-up (I broke up with him; both he and I were very hurt and very angry) and ended all contact with one another for more the majority of the past year. About a month ago, we began talking again and agreed to meet up for the first time since January. We ended up "getting together" that time and every other time we saw each other after that until he told me that he thought he was in love with his ex who he dated two or three years ago. We continued to talk on the phone and text and each time he would bring up her name.

Since he told me that he loved this other girl, we have hung out once (Tuesday). We went walking downtown, had coffee, talked and laughed together. He would open the doors for me, even asked if I wanted to try some of his coffee. He would make direct eye contact, hold it and then look away. And then look back. I felt sexual tension. And when he dropped me off, he gave me a hug, smiled, and in jest, winked. We arranged to do the same thing this afternoon.

Today I asked him if he was still on for meeting up and he said he had a conflict that "sorry, but it suddenly came up." He said he was free Monday but I was busy on Monday so I asked if he had any free time this weekend. He said that he had preexisting plans and at that, I got irritated and said, "Oh, yes, preexisting plans. Like the ones you had with me today. Forget it." And he quickly replied, "Okay then."

I'm so confused by him. When a man's heart and pride are hurt by a woman to the point where her actions made him lose himself, does he try to retaliate emotionally against her?

View related questions: broke up, his ex, text

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A male reader, jaffy1997 United States +, writes (1 November 2008):

Speaking from experience.....but not knowing the reasons for the breakup. Yes some men do try to get even so to speak. But some men still have that love that is hard to shake....In a sudden breakup we all go thu various emotions, hate, anger, fear, and more. But when all is said and done the Love is still there. Some men have a hard time telling the woman that they still care because they are affraid to open up and be hurt all over again. They are unsure of the others feelings. It would be good to be carefull but if you still have feelings, you will have to tell him. Because he is just as confused as you.

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