A
female
age
51-59,
*orabella
writes:Hello I meet this guy where I work at a swimming pool. He goes to the gym then comes for a swim. He is very hot and very big muscular. He also comes at times with his daughter. I have known him for a while but we just started to talk more over the last month 1/2, he is very shy. We would flirt and talk in the parking lot. I had just seperated from my husband(we have two boys 5 and 6) he has been split from his X (5 year old daughter)for three years. He was showing he was interested so one night I asked him if he wanted to go for coffee or a drink after my work and he said he wanted to but he was not prepared. That Friday would be better then he would not be rushing it. Well Friday came and gone he did not call. I saw him again at work on the following Wednesday and he said where were you? Joking he told me he dropped his phone in the toilet and then when it started to work he locked it. So he now had my number and he would call. I met him again in the parking lot we had a good talk and I said you don't need to call he said he wants too. So we ended it and had a nice hug. He then text me Thursday ningt saying he was my secreat admire. Then text me four more times on the Friday then that night we talked on the phone for three hours. He was supose to go out with his friends and we were going to go out on the Thursday which is today. He text me on Sat saying he was not going to go with his friends and to entise him with ideas? I finish work at 10 pm so I said how about drinks your place and a movie. He text me to what I like to drink and said to meet him at his place. I meet him at his place knocked on the door and he said it was open. I walked in and he was on the couch with a blanket watching the exteme fighting. I sat beside him and he was already drinking he got me one so we talked and watch TV it was going good. I had a bit of a cough and I didn't really eat so the drinks went right thru me. I got a buzz quick. A commercial came on about viagra so he brought up how there is this new medicine that you can take that works for before sex and then it wears off faster then viagra which is four hours. I said why would you want that(meaning a hard on for four hours). He said well if you had that problem then that would be a good thing to take if it helped. I told him how it messes up meds for seniors and we have to ask them at the pool if they are having chest pains if they took viagra. We stopped talking about that and we talked about something else. We started to watch a show he asked me if I wanted to lie down, so I put my head on his chest he put his arm around me. Then we started to talk again and I was asking him about the tatoos on his arms. Then we started to kiss, which led to us lying on the couch with me on top. This went on for a long while. He then asked if I wanted to go to bed. I said yes. I went to the washroom and went to his bedroom. He came in after he went to the washroom and and brushed his teeth. I had a suprise for him I was naked. Not alot different then before. He had his boxers on. He was happy for what he found when he came to bed. We made out all night. When I went to take off his boxers he jumped and would not let me touch him. He said lets slow down. Or something like that. Then we kept making out.Then he set the alarm because I work early so then we fell asleep. I had my head on his chest and he had his arm around me. I got up went to the door he came and gave me a big hug and kisses. I said I will see you later. He was getting his daughter that day. I text him twice that day and phoned him that night no answer. The next day he came at night with his daughter he waved to me right away and started to swim with her. We could not really talk in front of her. We said hi and smiled and made eye contact. Then we said good bye when he left and we looked into each others eyes. The next day I text him to say hi and to see how he was and nothing. Last night he came again with his daughter but he was shy again not really looking as much at me. He still said hi and waved good bye. I saw him in the common area of the changing room with his daughter I stopped and said hi. He got flustered said he was late to take her back to her Mom. I talked to her for a bit then asked him how he was and if he wanted to get together on Thurs. night he said he worked and I said after that he said it is not going to work. I was so shocked. I said that he didn't feel a conection. He then said oh now this is going to be ackward and I said no it doesn't have to be. I phoned him after work he answered and I asked him what happened. He said it is not going to work. He didn't feel a conection right away. I said, we worked all day we were relaxing and we were getting along. What about the kissing? He said that was lust. He said he is still going to keep coming to the pool. I asked him why he text me, It's your secret admirer? He said he was just joking. I asked him to give it another chance to have a second date and he said no.Question:What went wrong, is it really that he is not interested or is it something else? Do you think he has erection issues? When we were making out I don't remember him being that hard.
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at work, erection, flirt, kissing, shy, text, viagra Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): No he doesn't have erection issues, you scared the bejesus out of him, you sound very very predatory for a female...I am sorry to inform you but men want to be the pursuers.
I have never had a relationship ever with a man that I asked out first, never! I may have had a date or two, but they never became anything to me.
I can see that you have not dated in a long time, and you are recently divorced.
I am going to recommend that you read a book called "Why Men Love Bitches" and the sequel "Why Men Marry Bitches"....it isn't really about being a bitch, it is about being a strong woman who is self confident and knows how to handle the whole dating process, and yes it is a process.
For one I think asking to come to his house for the first date is not a date at all, he expected sex, but secretly hoped you would turn him down. Men like to work for what they want, they don't want it handed to them like a freebie....this makes you seem very low value in his mind and not at all trustworthy. And then you kept pursuing him and calling him and you even argued with him when he tried to politely let you know he wasn't interested in you.
I think you screwed the pooch on this one! Read the books, it will help you know how to act in the future if you want dates instead of hook ups.
Adios, amiga.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): well im a bodybuilder and when i stop taking the drugs i crash for a little bit, which means your natural hormone levels are low your libido is low, and i have friends that take so much they are permanently on viagra so he probably has issues in that department he was uncomfortable talking about, thanks.
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