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What should we do when friends won't like us going out?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 July 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 12 July 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Ok so me and my best guy friend just admitted that we like eachother as more than friends. We tell eachother everything! We know just about everything about eachother. We love eachother but we are scared to start goin out.

First off he's my bff's ex boyfriend and not to well liked my most of my other friends (mostly because he's not my bff's fav person). So I know he'll get a hard time for even liking me and I don't want it to be because of me.

I'd apreciate more than just ignore them if they were real friends they'd accept it ect. Any other suggestions would be wonderful!

What should I or we do?

Thanks!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok i didnt quite make myself clear. My best friend broke up with him mostly because she wasnt ready to be more than friends with him. And most of my friends dont like him because this girl who is very influencial gets jealous when he likes other girls and so she makes others dislike him. And the break up was very overly dramatic but we all knew it was no big deal. AND it's not chosing between friends or a guy really it's trying to get the guy to quit being scared of asking me out because of my friend...thank you for the advice but i needed to clear this up.

@Caring Guy, ya i know that rule but i come from a small town and there rnt many guys so we dont follow that rule because most break ups come from getting tired of eachother...

Thanks for all the advice tho!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (9 July 2010):

There is an unwritten rule that says 'no going out with friends' ex's. For two reasons. One, you'd be choosing him over your friend. Two, if they already broke up, then maybe he's not that great a guy.

More to the point, it's not just her that dislikes him. It's most of your other friends. That's a pretty good indication that you shouldn't go out with him. I think if you decide to go out with him, you'll lose your friends who will feel betrayed, and you'll be setting yourself up for pain since he is so disliked. Your choice. Friends or him. And remember that other guys will come along. Other friends like your closest ones won't.

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (9 July 2010):

xanthic agony auntAlthough true friends should be accepting, it's a red flag when most of them already don't like him. If you really want to be together, ignore what your friends say. It all depends on how much their opinion matters to you.

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A female reader, cindy 15 United Kingdom +, writes (9 July 2010):

cindy 15 agony auntwow a BIG problom i was also in a similar situation a choice between friends or a guy i am the same age as u believe or not but i cant really tell u how to answer this problem i am still actually in the same situation as u but girl to girl id say who is more inportant your friends or the guy u like i have been askin myself this question and still never found the answer!

any ways even when u do start goin out others will be callin u names and all but if i think its worth it no one can stop u but also u have to be carefull as well the reason y there has to be a reason why your friends hate him so much he could be a player at the same time but i will be honest with u i have no idea on how to answer u but i will leave u with this who is more inportant your friends or this guy u like?

who do u like better ur frinds or the guy? i hope this helped and good luck 2 u let us both be strong and solve the problem together good luck to u and me :)

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A female reader, red_headed_babe United States +, writes (9 July 2010):

red_headed_babe agony auntHoney, if you two have feelings for each other, why does it matter what your friends think? Do what you feel is right.

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