A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My husband is having a mid-life crisis and spends alot of time talking to a girlfriend of mine. They go to the pub twice a week to talk. He seems unhealthily obsessive about seeing her. She is a very moral person but naive(?) and has been having trouble in her own marriage. She says there is absolutely nothing in it from her point of view except friendship and she would be horrified if my husband has a crush on her. I trust her..I think... What is happening here? What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): You seem to be very upset about this! As one would be. Try and speak to your husband about it and tell him how it feels from your side of things. Although i agree that it is a little strange that it is becoming a obsession. It could be that he sees it has something to look foward to or something to hold on to. Going out and speaking to somebody different is an ok thing to ddo but as he is having a midlife crisis, there is a possibility that something maybe going on. As he probably feels younger knowing that, possibly, somebody is interested in him. Think the worst until you find out the trusth and then everything else will be a bonus!!!! I hope that you sort everthing out! Good Luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): That is how things get started. She's in a vulnerable stage in her life and so is your husband. One thing may lead to another and BAM! They did the deed.
See, my daughter father slept with his son's best friend's mother (very ugly and disgusting...excuse me!). He was in a midlife crisis (being kicked out the military) and she was having problems with her husband (arguments, problems). One thing lead to another and they slept with each other. Her husband called me at work with the news. They had gotten into an argument so she just told him. Then he called me at work.
I am telling you, your female friends should not be hanging around your husband, meeting him at bars, vice versa for you. Things like this tend to occur the majority of the time.
Say something to the both of them, first your husband and then of course, your friend.
Just be careful. Trust your instincts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): If she's lying to you and would like it then an affair might just happen. Seeing as both marriages have been troubled they might just seek comfort and affection from one another, despite her being your friend. Also seeing as he likes seeing your friend that doesn't really help to the equation. You need to get out of this relationship, before you get both crushed by your friend and by your husband.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): I think you should be worried because when two people are both unhappy in their current relationships but are getting together to talk about it, they have an empathy with each other and can start to feel close to each other and other feelings can develop. I'm sure you do trust your friend but out of the blue these things can and do happen. He should be talking to you about your problems and how you are going to solve them, not going to the pub with your friend, so I think you should do all you can to stop it, you go with him or even somewhere else, but go with him. He may well want something to develop with your friend, be very aware at how much trust you give them. A so called friend of mine kissed my husband passionately a few years ago, we are not friends anymore, but I am always aware now, men love it because they are flattered. All the best.
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