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What would be the difference between a confident flirt and a Jerk?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 March 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 March 2007)
A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:

What would be the difference between a confident flirt and a Jerk? In what case would they become the same ?

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (8 March 2007):

maxsteel86 agony auntHmm fair question. In my opinion, a jerk would be someone who's totally up his own a$$ lol! Here's a chat line you should definietly not use: "I could have any woman in here I want but I chose you" (thankfully, I didn't get learn that from experience :-P)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007):

The difference between the two is respect. A person who flirts confidently will always respect you, irregardless. He has fun and is letting you know he's interested. If no respect is shown, and is making you feel uncomfortable, then he is a jerk. In your case, you will recognize the difference. It's unmistakeable.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (7 March 2007):

birdynumnums agony auntA confident flirt never crosses the line. He says things that have double-meanings (and NOT rude), innocently and with a slight smile . A jerk says something direct that is offensive while staring at your chest and rubbing your arm. A flirt allows the woman to warm up to him first by making her feel relaxed and comfortable. A jerk makes her skin crawl, her eyes darting for the nearest exit. "If I said you had a beautiful body, Would you hold it against me?" is what most jerks would say. "Are your feet tired? Because you've been running through my mind all night..." is is corny and sweet enough that a confident flirt could get away with it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007):

Sometimes there is very little difference. A confident flirt is a jerk when he leads you on, or presses your buttons to get a read on whether or not you like him, and he has no real interest in you. A confident flirt is a jerk when he is more into playing head games with you then relating to you on a more honest straight forward level.

Sometimes flirting is a means to get to know you and romantically spar with you to see how you are as a woman from all angles, but if he just is making you very uncomfortable, you should let him know, or try getting him to talk to you more seriously and see how he responds.

If his flirting does not turn into a mutual attraction and it is unwanted, he is a jerk.

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A female reader, Patient1 United States +, writes (7 March 2007):

Patient1 agony auntIn a lot of cases they are already one in the same. It all depends on how you feel about it. Do you like aggressive men or do you prefer the more suttle men? I say, if you don't like his attitude and you're not sure, then don't even waste your time with him.

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