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What should I do about my boyfriend's controlling sister?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 October 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend has a sister who supports him financially (she pays for his university, apartment, car and gives him money to live on whilst he studys). She uses this to control him and blackmail him into doing what she wants.

The worst thing she's done is on my birthday she wanted him to cook a meal at her dinner party but we obviously wanted to go out and celebrate. He refused so she deliberately paid his rent to his landlord late so he got in trouble and threatened not to pay an instalment of his university fees.

I love him but I hate her and her controlling ways over him and I don't know what to do. He graduates and so do I in the summer so then we'll be able to get jobs and he won't be so reliant on her for money so she won't be able to control him but it just annoys me that she blackmails him like she does.

View related questions: money, university

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (15 October 2010):

There's nothing you can do at all. He has to do it. In fairness, he did stick up for himself and you on your birthday, so you know he's not totally giving into her. That's a good sign for you, because it means when it comes down to it, he is willing to put you first.

Just stick it out until summer, then you won't have the problem. Just make sure he doesn't always give into her, and try to be supportive of him, because he's in a crap position with his sister who is a drama queen if there ever was one.

Oh, and also when he leaves uni and gets a job, tell him that he is to accept NO MORE HELP FROM HER. Or in ten years she'll still own him.

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