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What makes a man choose one women over another??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 September 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

As a woman, it may seem strange to pose this question, but here goes.

Suppose a man is torn between two women, both of whom he likes and even loves and appreciates in different ways. What would make up his decision to go for one or the other? (He's gone out with each one, but

now is holding back from both to consider... )??????

And what should one of the women do to encourage him. I know you should not disparage the other. He says, "Why do women get so jealous?"

I should think the answer's a little obvious....

View related questions: jealous

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A female reader, Williejackson United States +, writes (4 September 2010):

I had a situation where I started dating this man and started sensing something about nine months into it. Problem was by then I was so totally into him. Finally, I confronted him and told him I knew he was married and he couldn't deny.

I still don't understand why he would involve me the way he did. He seemed like a nice guy, very good to me, attentive, we had a great time together etc...etc...Wine, great music, dancing and great food. The best time I'd had in years! Oh well, I won't compete! I have used him back and tried desperately to let his wife know about what he has done but apparently she didn't care that he's a player! This type of behavior makes a girl think all men are players and none can be trusted! The sad thing is that I came to really love him and was totally sucked in by this fake relationship. He was NEVER going to choose me or her probably!

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A male reader, chlez83 Zambia +, writes (3 December 2007):

It's a bit complicated than you think but i'll let you in from a man's perspective. Have you ever heard of "Never leave the 1 you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love". Most of the time men choose the women they truly love. Like in my case. But at times men want immediate pleasure e.g They would choose someone more adventurous in bed than someone all shy in bed. A more rational approach by some men is to think which woman will offer a better future in a relationship and act upon it. I've been there. In short there are various reasons a man will choose a particular woman but the bottom line is for the woman to be herself and what being herself will contribute to the relationship.

So please be yourself and if you are not chosen, know that someone better is on his way.Remember, "Tomorrow's gains are far much valuable than today's losses".

Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007):

Well I know about this firsthand. The woman that he is always going to like and respect the MOST is the one with the most pride. The one who loves herself the most. The women who is too cool, too intelligent and too much going on to allow herself to be involved in such a pathetic situation. The woman who would never let herself be humiliated the way you are letting him humiliate you. That is the woman he will always like better. It's a known fact. That's how men are. They like women who are PROUD.

So if I were you, I would start loving myself a little more, and stop giving a guy, who is capable of putting you in this situation which is so PATHETIC, so much importance.

Guys LOVE women who love themselves. In fact if this was my triangle, he would have chosen me I have no doubt in my mind. Because I am a tough bitch and I love myself. And if I was with a guy who had so little concern for me that he was capable of putting me in a situation this pathetic and huiliating, like the classy girl that I am, I would not yell or scream, I would simply stop calling him, wish him good luck and move on. And he would definitely think I was the cooler one. But it would be too late cause I would never forgive a guy who would do that to me.

You really should start loving yourself and have some dignity.

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A female reader, pgissyd United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2007):

pgissyd agony auntARE YOU KIDDING?? Seriously, why would you WANT this man?? he is two timing and you want to win him away from this other woman? WHY? seriously, why?

Because you want to worry for the rest of your relationship 'is he seeing another woman besides me'? because you want your heart broken when someone better comes along? because you only want to date him till he gets bored with you?

He cant possibly love either of you, nor does he respect either of you, so why would you want to win him? Its a bit like trying to loose a race to win the wooden spoon.

Like the aunt before me said, walk away now with your head held high and your dignity intact.

Hugs. Issy xxxx

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A female reader, vodka-tearz United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2007):

vodka-tearz agony auntI know that men appreciate originality, but can also be scared by it. I would say that any influences you make should be discrete, as sneaky as possible. The bad route to take would be seduction, he might choose you over her but you'll find he has a lot less respect for you, and it may turn into something just for fun - unless that's what you're aiming for. Hope I have helped, take care sugar.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (2 December 2007):

birdynumnums agony auntAfter perusing your question, this was the only thing that was obvious -

Is he the prize? Hmmmm...

Asking why women get so jealous while baiting two women against each other - sounds like a catch. I think you have a winner there. (In a dog fight, it would be called baiting). Walk away with your dignity intact and your head held high, no good can come from engaging in this battle over Nothing. An honerable person wouldn't put anyone he cares about in this situation and he's put two people in it, so basically, he only really cares about himself and his own self interest. Do you want to wind up with someone this selfish? Don't you derserve better? I know a person like this, on his third wife and laughing that he has two women fighting over him. He didn't really care about any of them, but he sure enjoyed them all fighting over him. Dump his sorry butt.

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